Chapter Forty-One
On the evening of the Little New Year, in the warm chamber of the Crown Prince's residence, Qi Xiao dismissed all his attendants to celebrate the holiday with Bai Ren alone.
Bai Ren was still lost in thought about the letter from the Princess Consort of Lingnan, his mother. Qi Xiao placed a piece of white jade tofu into Bai Ren's bowl and chuckled, "Missing your mother that much?"
Bai Ren felt somewhat embarrassed and lowered his head with a smile. "I haven't seen her in almost half a year..."
Qi Xiao shook his head with a smile. "Such a child."
Bai Ren looked at Qi Xiao, and his heart stirred. It was said that the Empress Xiaoren had hanged herself while Qi Xiao was still in swaddling clothes. Thinking of this... he surely had a much harder fate than himself.
During this grand festival, Bai Ren didn't want to bring up such painful matters for Qi Xiao, so he steered the conversation elsewhere with a smile: "The several pots of长寿花are blooming so beautifully. I used to have two pots at home, but I never took good care of them, and they withered before winter came."
Qi Xiao turned his head to glance at those flowers and smiled. "If you like them, I'll have them bring a few over to your quarters tomorrow."
"I wouldn't dare trouble you." Bai Ren was both amused and helpless. "I was only making idle conversation. Your Highness has been too kind to me—Bai Ren doesn't deserve such generosity."
Qi Xiao gave a soft laugh. "Is this considered being kind?"
Qi Xiao raised his wine cup and drained it in one gulp, then smiled. "I once heard from Jiang Deqing that my imperial father, because my mother loved orchids, ordered the Imperial Household Department to build a Hundred Flowers Terrace in her palace, collecting the finest orchid varieties from across the land for her enjoyment. Since the imperial city was cold, my father had people keep warming cages burning around the flower terrace day and night, sparing no expense... Later, it was still my mother who couldn't bear to see it, and she earnestly entreated my father to demolish the Hundred Flowers Terrace. Now, that cluster of orchids in front of Fenghua Palace is what's left of it."
Bai Ren looked at Qi Xiao. What Qi Xiao was now saying was certainly no longer about the Emperor and Empress...
But Qi Xiao didn't avoid the topic with Bai Ren—his origins were no secret anyway. Qi Xiao smiled faintly. "Compared to what my imperial father did, this little kindness I show you is nothing."
Bai Ren refilled Qi Xiao's cup and said softly, "I've heard about this matter. I was told that Empress Xiaoxian feared future generations would say Emperor Wu was foolish when they saw the Hundred Flowers Terrace, so she ordered it torn down. Emperor Wu and Empress Xiaoxian were deeply devoted to each other—that truly was rare."
Qi Xiao smiled faintly. "Deeply devoted... it's a pity they couldn't grow old together..."
Qi Xiao drained another cup of wine. Bai Ren sensed that Qi Xiao was no longer as cheerful as before and carefully watched his expression before offering comfort: "Emperor Wu passed away in his prime. Empress Xiaoxian couldn't bear to let him be lonely in the underworld, so she... so she went to accompany him. In that sense... it could be considered growing old together."
Qi Xiao let out a mocking laugh. "So you also believe my mother hanged herself voluntarily?"
Bai Ren's heart lurched. He paused and asked hoarsely, "Could—could it have been..."
Qi Xiao took the wine pot and poured himself another cup, then smiled faintly. "Do you want to know what really happened back then? This is an imperial secret... even now, very few people know."
Bai Ren's face went pale, disbelief written all over it. "Who could be so bold... to murder an Empress? Were the officials of the Clan Office dead?! Did the imperial clan just watch it happen?!"
"The Clan Office?" Qi Xiao laughed bitterly. "At that time, the Commissioner of the Clan Office was Qi Jing. As for the imperial clan... there were indeed those who wanted to speak up, but they were outnumbered and helpless. And by the time the clan members received the news, my mother had already hanged herself."
Bai Ren frowned tightly. "But Your Highness just said... that Empress Xiaoxian didn't choose to die voluntarily..."
Qi Xiao drank another cup of wine and smiled mockingly. "Hanging herself was true, but it wasn't of her own will... Bai Ren, didn't you ever suspect something? No matter how deeply in love Emperor Wu and Empress Xiaoxian were as husband and wife, would Empress Xiaoxian really abandon her legitimate son who hadn't even reached one month old to die in his father's grave?"
"On the day of the grand mourning, Qi Jing sent the Princess Consort of Cheng... the current Empress Feng... to deliver a length of white silk to my mother, telling her... if she sacrificed the mother to save the son, Qi Jing would, after ascending the throne, still confirm me as Crown Prince and ensure my wealth and honor for life; or if she sacrificed the son to save the mother, Qi Jing would, after ascending the throne, make my mother Empress Dowager, letting her continue to reside in Fenghua Palace with unending offerings... If she refused to choose, then the mother and son would both go meet Emperor Wu together."
"My mother raged at the Princess Consort of Cheng and ordered palace servants to drive her out. She strictly commanded the palace guards to guard the gates while urgently summoning several of Emperor Wu's most capable generals to the capital. Unfortunately..."
"Unfortunately it was too late. Before the generals could even enter the city, they were accused of assembling troops to rebel. My maternal grandfather's entire family was stationed with the army outside—too far away to help in time. My mother waited three days in the palace, only to receive news that my grandfather's entire family had been slaughtered by Northern Di bandits..."
Qi Xiao's eyes reddened. He took a deep breath and spoke slowly. "My mother, unable to turn the tide, could only summon Qi Jing into the palace. Before Emperor Wu's spirit, she made Qi Jing swear to treat me well. Heh... My mother also knew Qi Jing's words couldn't be trusted. Before she passed, she managed a private meeting with Princess Dundu, asking my aunt to be wary of Qi Jing. She entrusted me to my aunt and hanged herself in her bedchamber..."
Qi Xiao looked at Bai Ren, his voice hoarse. "Tragically, when my mother passed away, she had just turned twenty years old..."
Qi Xiao picked up his wine cup and drained it, using the strong liquor to suppress the great pain in his heart. He spoke slowly in a low voice: "My mother, my maternal grandfather's entire family of thirteen... all died at the hands of that wretch Qi Jing... Blood debts must be paid in blood. This account, I will settle with him sooner or later."
Bai Ren had been holding back several times, but he couldn't bear it any longer—his eyes turned red. Qi Xiao spoke of it lightly, but Bai Ren could well imagine the precarious situation in the palace back then, how Empress Xiaoxian had borne everything alone. He knew then... that the woman who could give birth to Qi Xiao was certainly no weakling.
Qi Xiao raised his head to look at Bai Ren and gave a soft laugh. "Why are you crying... Thinking of your mother? Don't be sad, Bai Ren. You're more fortunate than me."
Bai Ren turned his head away to wipe his tears, but the harder he tried not to make a fool of himself, the more he couldn't hide it. His heart felt as if being stabbed repeatedly by a blunt knife. The more casually Qi Xiao spoke, the more it pained Bai Ren. His eyes seemed no longer his own—as if they were going to shed for Qi Xiao all the tears he should have shed over the years. Qi Xiao laughed despite himself. "Blame me. On such a nice Little New Year evening, I shouldn't have brought up these things..."
Bai Ren shook his head, refilled Qi Xiao's cup, and said hoarsely yet seriously: "If in the future I successfully ascend the throne, the entire Dongling clan and Lingnan's nineteen cities will spare no effort to assist Your Highness... helping Your Highness eliminate that villain and cleanse the land as soon as possible."
The depression in Qi Xiao's chest vanished entirely. He smiled, raised his cup, and clinked it against Bai Ren's, saying cheerfully: "Good! If in the future I ascend the throne before you, then the position of Prince of Lingnan, I will surely win for you!"
Bai Ren drained his wine in one gulp. The thought of what Qi Xiao had just said made his heart ache again. He slammed the table hard and growled in a low voice: "That was the Empress! How could he—how dare he..."
Qi Xiao stood up and pulled Bai Ren into his arms, laughing despite himself. "Don't get so agitated... There, there, my good child, you're breaking my heart..."
As if Bai Ren were the one who had suffered the great injustice, Qi Xiao coaxed and soothed him tenderly, speaking softly: "Don't be sad... Before my mother passed away, she left me with some words. Do you want to hear them?"
Bai Ren raised his head to look at Qi Xiao and nodded, still choking with sobs. Qi Xiao spoke hoarsely and slowly: "Before my mother hanged herself, she had Princess Dundu tell me... She said... Xiao'er, in the future, if you come to know these truths, don't be too troubled. Life and death—these great matters have never been within our own control."
"Your father died in battle for Da Xiang, and after death his noble spirit remains in our land, watching over the four seas and blessing you with peace and prosperity year after year; your mother died for you, and after death my soul will guard the imperial city forever, praying for your health and safety, blessing you with longevity and happiness."
"In the future, even if there are countless disappointments, remember... your father and mother are truly here with you. There's no need to grieve."
"So... don't pity me. I don't need anyone else's sympathy." Qi Xiao's eyes glistened with moisture—gentle yet firm. He pointed toward the sky and smiled. "My imperial father and mother are both watching over me from above. I am the legitimate firstborn son, born a noble of the highest imperial bloodline. No matter how much Qi Jing tries to cover it up... this is something he can never change. All the ancestors of the Qi clan are protecting me. This blood feud will be avenged one day."
Bai Ren's tears flowed down his cheeks as he nodded continuously. Qi Xiao lovingly held him in his arms and quietly gazed out the window at the night sky. He wondered which of the countless stars shining outside was his mother, whether she could see—this lonely soul, almost twenty years of solitude, finally had someone who refused to accept his suffering, who wept for his pain, who felt deeply for his wounds.
The next day, Bai Ren was awakened by the bursts of firecrackers outside the window. He furrowed his brow slightly. "What time is it?"
Qi Xiao sat by the bedside and smiled at his question. "It's just the hour of the rabbit. Go back to sleep."
Bai Ren had cried too much the day before, and his eyes still ached. He rubbed them and murmured softly, "How does Your Highness manage to rise so early every day?"
"This is early?" Qi Xiao laughed. Actually, if it weren't for Bai Ren, he would have slept even less. Qi Xiao leaned over and picked up something to hand to Bai Ren with a smile. "Look at this."
Bai Ren took it and his face flushed slightly. It was the jade jue he had given Qi Xiao the day before. Qi Xiao had had it strung with golden thread to be worn as a jade pendant. Bai Ren gently stroked the pattern on the jade jue and said softly, "If Your Highness ever stops liking it in the future, even if you smash it or destroy it, please, please never give this to anyone else."
Qi Xiao gave a soft laugh. "Why would I not like something you gave me?"
Bai Ren frowned slightly. "Your Highness, I'm serious. If you ever stop wearing it, either keep it carefully or destroy it, but absolutely do not give it to someone else."
It was rare for Bai Ren to be so stubborn. Qi Xiao simply thought he was being spoiled and nodded in agreement. "Don't worry, I certainly won't give it to anyone else. You're overthinking it. I said I'd wear it always—don't you believe me?"
Bai Ren smiled. "That would be best... It's said to protect against misfortune, and it's very effective."
Qi Xiao raised an eyebrow and couldn't resist teasing him. "Since it's so effective, why didn't you wear it before?"
Bai Ren shook his head with a smile and said nothing. Qi Xiao looked at his still-red eyes and sighed. He had someone bring in a cold cloth and personally placed it on Bai Ren's eyes, saying softly, "Usually you're so strong and resilient, yet last night you became like a child... Don't leave today either. If the Prince of Lingnan's heir walks out of my residence with red eyes during New Year, word will spread and become a major incident."
Bai Ren's thoughts went back to last night and his heart ached again, plus he felt extremely embarrassed. He tried to cover up, saying softly, "No, yesterday... it was probably because I drank wine..."
Qi Xiao couldn't help but laugh. "One pot of wine, and you drank maybe three cups? You really scared me. Before this, even when that beast Qi Hua clawed your neck, you didn't shed a tear. Yet last night you cried like that..."
Bai Ren's face flushed with embarrassment. "Don't... don't say any more."
Of course Qi Xiao knew why Bai Ren had cried. He had gotten what he wanted and was now showing off. "Fine, fine, I won't say any more. Then promise me first—stay today."
Not only would he not leave, Bai Ren didn't even want to leave this room. He had always been so restrained and self-controlled in front of others, but now with these eyes, he didn't want to go anywhere. Bai Ren nodded. Qi Xiao smiled, satisfied. "I'll have someone fetch your court robes from your residence. Tomorrow we'll go to the palace together."
Bai Ren had no opinion either way and simply nodded.