Chapter 61
That night, Bai Ren fell asleep clutching the life talisman Qi Xiao had given him.
Qi Xiao slept very little. Unable to fall asleep even past midnight, he gazed steadily at the person in his arms, his mind filled with countless thoughts.
Qi Xiao was a man of deep thoughts, but he rarely wasted energy on such matters of the heart. Yet tonight, his mind was entirely occupied by Bai Ren—no distractions, no scheming, just simple thoughts of this person.
When had he first fallen in love with him? Qi Xiao gently stroked Bai Ren's back, contemplating for half the night but unable to recall. He only remembered that back then, following Princess Dunsu's wishes, he had intended to take Roujia as a secondary consort. Thus he had shown kindness to Bai Ren, but this little creature had given him the cold shoulder, pushing everyone away with that distant demeanor—yet in the next moment, had been so warm toward Cen Chaohe. Even now, whenever he recalled the scene in the bamboo grove that day, Qi Xiao still felt his anger flare. He couldn't resist lowering his head to bite Bai Ren's lips in punishment.
Bai Ren slept deeply. Only frowning at the provocation, he nestled closer into Qi Xiao's embrace as if seeking shelter. Qi Xiao's mood instantly improved, and he decided to stop计较 this little creature's previous mistake of misjudging people's character.
Qi Xiao thought it over—he was certain he hadn't developed feelings at that time. Back then, he had simply been scheming. He wanted to break apart this pair of lovebirds because his heart was wicked. So he had Jiang Dexiang spread rumors, successfully tempting Cen Chaohe to change his loyalties. Now that Qi Xiao thought about it more carefully, if Cen Chaohe had been firmer back then, if he had gritted his teeth and refused to leave, if he had been determined to stay with Bai Ren—perhaps none of what came afterward would have happened.
But Cen Chaohe had betrayed Bai Ren.
Qi Xiao was used to being the villain. He不屑 to dress up his actions with noble excuses. Yes, he had torn them apart—so what? If Cen Chaohe had the ability, he should have fought to get Bai Ren back.
Qi Xiao took a deep breath to calm himself. He rarely lost his temper, but every time he thought of Cen Chaohe, he couldn't contain his rage. Qi Xiao composed himself and continued his thoughts. Had he fallen for Bai Ren at that time? After consideration, the answer was still no. Back then, he had only wanted to possess this person first. As for something as虚无缥缈 as the heart—whether he could obtain it or not truly didn't matter. Now, thinking back on it, Qi Xiao sighed softly... He had obtained the heart, yet the person still wasn't his.
At this thought, Qi Xiao couldn't help but bite Bai Ren's lips again, harder this time. Bai Ren whimpered in surrender. Qi Xiao soothe him with a kiss on the lips, then continued his previous line of thinking. He truly had been walking a dangerous line back then. One misstep and Bai Ren might have hated him for the rest of his life, never opening his heart to him again.
Looking back now, Qi Xiao realized he hadn't treated Bai Ren well at first. Yet Bai Ren had still fallen for him—had even given him his life talisman. Qi Xiao felt a pang in his heart. Perhaps... whatever little kindness he had shown had been more than enough for Bai Ren.
Qi Xiao had once envied Bai Ren for having a better fate than himself, but they were truly two sides of the same coin. He had no parents, no family, nothing to anchor him. Bai Ren had a mother and sister over him, but also double the burden and double the ties. If not for these many constraints, with Bai Ren's intelligence, how could he have allowed the illegitimate branch of the family to suppress him?
Qi Xiao gently stroked Bai Ren's back and smiled faintly. It was time to think about the future.
He had previously lived only for revenge. But what about after killing the Emperor? After reclaiming the throne that rightfully belonged to him? Qi Xiao had never considered this. The Qi Xiao of before had only strived to become stronger for the moment of revenge. But now, he fought for the days that would come after his vengeance.
As long as he could ascend to the throne, he could let Bai Ren smoothly become the King of Lingnan, allow him to dutifully serve his mother, and then—Qi Xiao could rightfully bring Bai Ren to his side without any need for secrecy. He could dote on him however he pleased.
People said that beauty's bower is the hero's grave. Qi Xiao gazed at the treasure in his arms and laughed softly. How was his situation the opposite of that old saying?
The more he cherished Bai Ren, the more he wanted to fight and seize. Even if one day he ruled the world, Qi Xiao felt he still would not be satisfied.
His heart burning with emotion, Qi Xiao couldn't resist lowering his head to kiss Bai Ren. Bai Ren groggily opened his eyes and murmured softly, "Your Highness... why aren't you asleep yet?"
Bai Ren had cried for half the night before falling asleep, so his eyes were still red and swollen. Qi Xiao's heart ached at the sight. He gently soothe him, "Nothing's wrong. I'm going to sleep now..." Bai Ren rubbed his eyes and, by the faint lamplight, glanced at the water clock outside. Frowning slightly, he complained, "It's already this late... You sleep far too little."
This wasn't the first time Bai Ren had said such things to Qi Xiao. Perhaps because Bai Ren was still growing, he slept almost twice as much as Qi Xiao. Although Qi Xiao could function perfectly well on so little sleep and rarely felt drowsy, Bai Ren still worried about him.
Bai Ren propped himself up halfway and covered Qi Xiao's eyes with his hand. After waiting for him to close them, he gently massaged Qi Xiao's temples, whispering, "Even if you're not sleepy, you should rest. If you don't take care of yourself when you're young, illness will find you when you're old..."
Qi Xiao laughed softly. Bai Ren smiled sheepishly, "I'm not trying to be mature for my age. These are actually words Your Highness told me before."
Qi Xiao shook his head, "I'm not laughing at you... Alright, never mind me. You should sleep too. When I see you sleeping well, it's like I'm resting too."
Bai Ren couldn't help but laugh, "What kind of talk is that? Don't cause trouble... If I keep massaging like this, you'll fall asleep soon enough."
Bai Ren's fingers were slender, his fingertips warm, soft, yet firm. The gentle pressure on the acupoints felt wonderfully comfortable. Qi Xiao tilted his face slightly and caught the faint incense scent from Bai Ren's sleeve, his heart stirring with longing...
Bai Ren had been crying that evening. They couldn't go any further. Qi Xiao closed his eyes and said in a hoarse voice, "Alright, I'm sleepy now. You lie down properly. I'll fall asleep in a moment."
Bai Ren shushed him and, foolishly brave, said, "Don't talk. I'll lie down once you've fallen asleep. Doesn't that feel better now...?"
Qi Xiao could bear no more. He pulled Bai Ren's hand away and stared at him fixedly, his voice deep as he asked, "Do you truly want me to fall asleep quickly?"
Bai Ren froze. "Of course I do..."
Qi Xiao's voice grew hoarse. "I know a method. It only depends on whether you're willing." Whether it was their hearts being in tune or the naked desire in Qi Xiao's gaze, Bai Ren suddenly understood something. Fear flickered in his eyes. Qi Xiao, after all, couldn't bear to frighten him further, and considering his young age, he smiled lightly. "I'm just teasing you. Sleep."
Qi Xiao pulled Bai Ren down with him and covered them both with the silk quilt. In the darkness, they lay in silence for a while. Then Bai Ren suddenly stirred, crawling into Qi Xiao's embrace like a little mouse, rustling quietly as he nestled close, and whispered, "Come..."
Qi Xiao was stunned. Bai Ren's face flushed crimson, but he repeated softly yet firmly, "I want you too."
Qi Xiao closed his eyes and rolled over, pressing Bai Ren beneath him.
It was well past midday when the two finally woke up.
For the first time ever, Qi Xiao had slept for almost four full hours.
At the si hour, Jiang Dexiang, truly worried, tiptoed inside to take a look. Qi Xiao lifted the bed curtain slightly, revealing a crack through which he murmured, "What is it?"
The deep huskiness in Qi Xiao's low voice carried unmistakable satisfaction. Jiang Dexiang had served in the palace for decades—what couldn't he hear? He hastily lowered his voice, "Your Highness... Shall I summon the imperial physician? Or... shall this old servant fetch some medicinal ointment? We have the finest varieties prepared long ago. They will surely be effective."
Qi Xiao laughed softly and waved his hand, letting the curtain fall back. Jiang Dexiang was greatly puzzled in his heart. Not needed? He had served Qi Xiao since childhood. He knew Qi Xiao's constitution better than anyone. And thinking of Bai Ren's small frame—even if it wasn't severe enough to summon a physician, surely some medicine would be necessary?
Jiang Dexiang worried for Bai Ren but dared not ask too many questions. He withdrew with a bow.
Behind the bed curtains, Qi Xiao propped himself up and gently traced the ambiguous red marks on Bai Ren's neck and chest, smiling faintly. He hadn't actually gone all the way last night.
It wasn't because Bai Ren had disobeyed. Bai Ren had been extremely obedient last night, doing whatever Qi Xiao asked, even enduring things that would have been humiliating. But his body was simply too tender. When Qi Xiao had only inserted two fingers, Bai Ren had already trembled with pain. He had endured it bravely, repeatedly saying he was fine, but how could Qi Xiao bear to be so cruel?
In truth, Bai Ren wasn't really that young anymore. At this age, some men elsewhere were already fathers. And in the southern entertainment houses, boys this age were considered quite mature. Other boys could handle such things from twelve or thirteen. Bai Ren should certainly be able to endure it. But Qi Xiao's heart had still softened. Only now did he truly understand—there was no心疼 like心疼 for one's own. You couldn't疼爱别人的孩子 with the same intensity.
Though he hadn't taken things to completion, Qi Xiao was still very satisfied. They had been intimate before, many times, but never had it felt so deeply penetrating and thorough. Everything else could be faked—only the emotion Bai Ren poured out during their intimacy, that恨不得把命都交给自己的 sentiment, could not be counterfeited. Through Bai Ren's slender chest, Qi Xiao could nearly feel the love that was drowning him... If Bai Ren didn't truly, desperately love him, why would a man of his noble standing as a marquess lower himself like this?
Qi Xiao had never rushed this matter before. First, because he couldn't bear to hurt Bai Ren. Second, because he wanted to prove... that Bai Ren wasn't here to please him for Roujia's sake.
Roujia's marriage was now settled. If Bai Ren was still willing to be intimate with him, then it wasn't for the old arrangement. He was sincere.
Qi Xiao lowered his head and lovingly kissed Bai Ren's forehead, sighing softly in his heart. Such a wonderful child—how could he not cherish him?
As if sensing his gaze, Bai Ren slowly opened his eyes. After a moment of confusion, memory of the previous night returned. His face flushed scarlet, and he burrowed into the quilt, refusing to come out.
Qi Xiao found it amusing. "What are you hiding? Come out..." Bai Ren wouldn't listen. The more Qi Xiao called, the deeper he dove into the blankets. Qi Xiao couldn't help but laugh, swatting Bai Ren—not hard, just a light pat. "Come out! You'll suffocate in there!"
Bai Ren dared not keep pulling the blanket over himself. Qi Xiao dragged him out and made him lie on his chest, laughing softly, "Now you're embarrassed? Where's that skill you had last night, provoking me?"
Bai Ren kept his head down, too ashamed to speak a single word. Qi Xiao leaned down and kissed near his ear, whispering, "Was it that comfortable last night?"
Bai Ren's delicate ears instantly burned red. Qi Xiao smiled. "Since you won't say anything, I'll take that as you liked it."
Qi Xiao's hand slid down, gently caressing a certain area, and he asked softly, "Does it still hurt here?"
Bai Ren shook his head, face red. After a long while, he whispered, "It's just... a bit strange..."
Qi Xiao smiled meaningfully. He lowered his voice and said something into Bai Ren's ear. Upon hearing it, Bai Ren bashfully buried his face in Qi Xiao's chest, refusing to lift his head no matter what Qi Xiao said. Qi Xiao helplessly said, "What embarrassment is there with your own man? Be obedient... If we do this often, you'll be able to take it eventually."
Bai Ren still wouldn't say a word. Qi Xiao took his silence as consent and spent a good long while holding, kissing, and pampering him tenderly.