Chapter 5
Slept the whole way home. The moment I threw myself onto the bed, Shangguan pulled me right back up: "Go take a shower, dinner's ready!"
I hate showers! Come on! Can't you see my eyelids are practically glued together? Why do you insist on torturing me with showers? Nobody dies from skipping one day!
Though I was extremely reluctant to leave my cozy, soft bed, under Shangguan's tyranny I had no choice but to drag myself up. Staggering toward the bathroom, I went.
Shangguan's place is huge—three bathrooms in total. There's a master bedroom with attached bath on both floors. Shangguan and I both live upstairs, and needless to say, the fully-equipped master bedroom is his while I'm in the guest room. The master bedroom downstairs Shangguan uses as a storage room. In his words, he'd rather堆垃圾 than enable my laziness.
So whether it's showering or using the toilet, I have to run downstairs. I strongly suspect this is Shangguan's persecution of me. But I'd never dare say it out loud—why? Well, you get what you pay for. The measly rent I'm handing over definitely doesn't allow me to be picky.
I stripped down to my boxers on the bed and walked downstairs in my underwear. The apartment's kept at a constant twenty-four degrees year-round, and it's only the two of us here anyway, so there's nothing to be modest about.
Shangguan was in a shirt with his sleeves rolled up, holding a pan in one hand and a spatula in the other. The air was thick with the smell of cooking.
The kitchen was open-concept, so the moment I came down he spotted me: "I've already adjusted the temperature. Let me know if anything's wrong."
I nodded and headed toward the bathroom opposite.
"Be careful, don't slip!"
I rolled my eyes. Does he really think I'm an idiot? Even if my motor skills aren't as good as his, I passed all my PE tests, okay?
I pulled open the bathroom door. The shower was already running, water spraying evenly across the floor. I tested it—the temperature was a bit low, but bearable. I decided not to call Shangguan, even though he said I could. Who knows if he'd lecture me again?
The truth is, every time he adjusts the water temperature, he goes into full monk mode. It's really unreasonable. He adjusts the temperature himself, he's the one who tells me to call him, yet somehow I'm always the one who gets scolded. And he won't even let me do it myself. His excuse? If I touched it, I'd either freeze to death or burn myself alive—as if I'm really that stupid?
I finished my shower in a hurry. Toweling my hair as I walked out, I saw the food was already on the table—a plate of assorted vegetables, a plate of wood ear pork, and two bowls of rice.
"Is the water temperature okay?"
I nodded and picked up my bowl. Honestly, what I really wanted to do was sleep. Even though I'd only had one burger that evening, I had zero appetite. But the food was already made, so I couldn't exactly not eat.
Shangguan's expression was strange. After a pause, he asked again: "Did Zheng Hong yell at you again?"
Who was Zheng Hong? I had to think about it, then guessed from the "yelled at" comment that it must be my department manager—because besides Shangguan, he's the only one who regularly yells at me.
"Think so." I actually didn't care much about this. He wasn't going to fire me anyway, and most of the time he yelled at me was because I was taking the fall for someone else. I had no reason to feel ashamed.
"Don't be so submissive. If it's not your fault, speak up. I don't want to support a bunch of parasites who don't work but push their responsibilities onto others!" Shangguan glared. His expression seemed to suggest every loss the company suffered was my fault.
I scooped two bites of rice into my mouth and muttered quietly.
"What did you say?"
I glanced at Shangguan, saw him watching me without letting up, so I repeated myself: "I can't remember who did it."
"You!"
"There were so many documents, how was I supposed to know which ones were whose?" I was委屈 too!
"Can't you use your brain for once? What's that thing on your neck? A wooden knot? Can't remember anything! Someday someone will sell you and you won't even know who bought you!"
Here he goes again. Every time we talk about my brain, Shangguan has nothing but complaints. I really don't know what he's so annoyed about. Yes, I have trouble remembering things, and maybe that does slightly enable the lazy work habits at the company. But that's the worst of my flaws. I've never once let important matters slip through the cracks! Those files I didn't get around to processing were all minor stuff anyway.
If anyone has the right to complain, it should be me. Maybe this is exactly why my brain stopped working properly—courtesy of Shangguan's lectures. Theoretically, I should be demanding emotional damages from him.
He scolded for about fifteen minutes. By the time he finished, I'd finished my rice too, and Shangguan had polished off his own portion while lecturing me—respect for that, honestly.
After dinner, I brushed my teeth at lightning speed and fled upstairs like I was escaping disaster. I dove straight under the covers. But before I could fully fall asleep, I heard a buzzing sound, followed by Shangguan's devilish voice.
"How many times do I have to tell you—dry your hair before sleeping. Do you treat my words like they're made of air?!"
God, have mercy on me! In my twenty-two years of life, I've never used a hair dryer, even in winter I go outside with wet hair and let it dry in the wind. Why do I have to follow so many rules at Shangguan's place?
I burrowed deeper, pretending not to hear. I really didn't have the energy to blow dry my hair.
But Shangguan wasn't letting it go. However, he at least didn't make me get up. Instead, he wielded that可恶hair dryer, blowing it over my head while constantly ruffling through my hair.
Fine, as long as he didn't drag me out of bed, he could do whatever he wanted. I thought drowsily, drifting faster and faster into sweet dreams.