Chapter 53: Extra
Again and again I dialed that number until the automated voice announced the line was disconnected. Only then did I stop.
I smiled, poured myself a glass of whiskey, and slowly walked to the window. Outside, the sun was brilliant. From the seventeenth floor, the people below had shrunk to the size of ants.
This feeling was wonderful—like being superior to everyone else. God must love standing in the heavens, and想来也是因为这种感觉吧。
I am the sixth son of the Shangguan family. Shangguan is a powerful clan. Whether you're a grandson or grandson-in-law, everyone must bear the Shangguan surname. So although I grew up living with my mother, although my passport says Yang, my identity card still reads Shangguan Yun.
Strange, right? I've gone through a lot of trouble over these two surnames. But this was my mother's greatest wish, and as her son, I obviously had to fulfill her dying wish. So even though it was incredibly troublesome, I've used the surname Yang on all documents except my ID card. I know she just wanted that person to think of her when he saw me, and since I share no resemblance to her at all, the only thing I can inherit is her surname.
Such a boring soap opera. I really have no interest in dwelling on the grievances of the previous generation. It's just the same old tale of the devoted woman and the fickle man.
If you fall in love with someone, don't resent them for being fickle. Because you chose to love them. They have no obligation to be faithful to you, just as you have no obligation to be devoted to them.
Lovers in this world—the game of fate, money, family background, luck. Perhaps that person didn't want to be fickle; it was just the circumstances that forced them to be.
Take Brother Fei, for example. If he hadn't met A-Yi, he probably would never have become devoted in his entire life.
The first time I met Brother Fei, I was seven. That was also my first time returning to the Shangguan family compound.
From a young age, I've been outstanding—no matter in appearance or intelligence, I've always been superior to children my age. This made me a bit arrogant. And my first setback was Brother Fei.
Since childhood, I've enjoyed teasing things. Ants, birds, playmates—whether people or animals, I liked making them cry then laugh again, watching them respond to my commands. It gave me immense satisfaction. So when I saw Brother Fei sitting at a desk that day, earnestly practicing calligraphy, I couldn't resist approaching him.
But no matter what tricks I tried, his face like a block of ice remained unchanged. No anger, no fury, not even an eyebrow raised. This was incredibly frustrating. In my rage, I dumped an entire bottle of ink over his head.
But he still showed no reaction!
He didn't even look at me. He simply wiped his face and went upstairs to bathe. From start to finish, it was as if I didn't exist at all.
To this day, I still remember that feeling—utter desolation. I even felt abandoned by the world.
The Shangguan family's main residence was a traditional wooden structure with a large courtyard planted with various flowers and trees. It was March. Peach blossoms drifted pink and white outside the window as Brother Fei, face covered in ink, walked past me. And I could only stand there,僵硬的笑着。
Brother Fei is my cousin. His father is my eldest uncle. My father was the second in his generation—a notorious playboy in the Shangguan family. As for me, his son, he neither liked nor disliked me—just indifferent. And I don't have any feelings for him either.
Life in the Shangguan family wasn't suitable for me. Having grown accustomed to the free skies outside, I couldn't accept such rigid traditions. But I voluntarily asked to stay.
Because I had to teach that kid a lesson for ignoring me!
For about a week, I went crazy trying to antagonize Brother Fei. Tearing up his homework, putting insects in his food, ruining his clothes... whatever mischief a child could do, I nearly did it all. But no matter what I did, he still ignored me. Things that could make other children cry seemed to have no effect on him at all.
Finally, having exhausted all options, one night I secretly climbed into his room. But just as I was about to write on his face with paint, he caught my hand.
In the darkness, his eyes were so bright—like a gleaming dagger. I felt a dizzying joy—he was looking at me, he finally looked at me!
He looked at me, but only for that instant. When he saw my face, those bright eyes closed again. He released my hand, turned over, and went to sleep—he didn't even scold me.
If the first time was desolation, this time I felt something close to despair.
Why won't you look at me? Why won't you acknowledge me? Why do you ignore me?
I wanted to ask but couldn't open my mouth. I didn't know what to say. Faced with his silence, I felt so small, so pitiful.
I sat in his room all night, but that couldn't make him look at me again. The next morning, he still walked past me silently. I was still as non-existent as before.
I don't know if he truly despised me, or if he knew this was the only way to make me behave. But anyway, I did become much more docile—well, comparatively speaking. My pride wouldn't allow me to show too much defeat.
But no matter how much I tried to hide it, one thing couldn't be concealed—my eyes were always following him.
Although a bit cold and rigid, he wasn't a closed-off person. In some ways, he was even somewhat unconventional, unlike typical Shanguans.
He loved basketball, loved running, loved open spaces, loved freedom...
Yes, freedom—freedom that didn't belong to the Shangguan family. When he was fifteen, he fought underground boxing for a month. That was the first time he clearly expressed his rebellion against the Shangguan family, and from then on, the rebellion never stopped.
Every child in the Shangguan family is sent abroad at eighteen. Based on their talents, they're assigned countries and fields of study.
Those with business talent go to Wharton in the US. Those with mathematical talent go to Oxford in Britain. Those with medical talent go to Munich in Germany, and so on...
He was the eldest grandson of the Shangguan family. Whether in talent or status, he was the prime candidate to become the next family head. So he was most likely going to Harvard.
That school had produced seven American presidents and countless CEOs. It was universally recognized as the best place to train managers.
But he insisted on staying in the country, studying things he'd already mastered three years earlier. Economic sanctions, family discipline—the Shangguan family used every tactic they could, but he showed no change whatsoever.
"Hey, why are you going to that school? Would that school be better than Harvard?" Somehow, after dinner one day, I actually asked him a question.
That should have been my first time talking to him since that night all those years ago. Over the years, I never troubled him again, and he never looked at me more than once.
The Shangguan family had many strange customs. For instance, one rule was that no matter how children fought amongst themselves, adults would never intervene. So even though we were like strangers, no one ever asked about it.
The moment I spoke, I started regretting it. He wouldn't answer. He'd never paid attention to me before. But that day, he actually answered: "No, I just don't want to follow their arrangements."
My eyes went wide. I was shocked beyond words. He'd actually talked to me. He'd actually responded. In that instant, the feeling of wild joy nearly overwhelmed me. I couldn't react at all, and that conversation between us ended just like that.
But this at least broke the deadlock. I discovered that as long as I spoke to him seriously, he wouldn't avoid me. But for some reason, I could never manage to face him with a serious expression.
Not long after, I was sent to England. But I quickly left that dreary school and ran off to Japan. Why choose this country? Because I felt it was a place where being shameless and unscrupulous was treated as glory. This excited me. Think about it—what could possibly discourage a shameless person? Of course, being even more shameless and unscrupulous, and having your shamelessness earn adoration. What could be more exciting than that?
Was this reason very... well, very alternative? But if I dared admit it, perhaps I just wanted to be closer to him.
Japan and China are only separated by one sea. Once across that sea, I'd reach the city where he was. This reason was pathetically sad. What was even sadder was that I didn't even have the courage to admit it.
If I'd dared to admit it, if I'd dared to stay in the same city as him, perhaps things would have been different afterward.
But there's no "if" in this world. When I didn't choose to stay in the country like he did, the distance between us was already sealed.
The four years in Japan were years of eating, drinking, and playing. I did everything a wastrel could possibly do.
But no matter how wild I got, every Spring Festival I would return home. Because that was when the Shangguan family gathered. By tradition, all family members had to return.
But he didn't. Not once.
The next time I saw him was four years later. I'd already obtained my master's degree from the University of Tokyo. He'd returned to the Shangguan family, and the moment he came back, he turned the whole family upside down.
"I want to withdraw from the Shangguan family."
Such a calm statement, yet it was like water dropped into a frying pan of oil—the whole family erupted. Even during his repeated struggles against the family in earlier years, no one had ever threatened to expel him or anything like that. Because everyone knew that would just give him an excuse.
And he had never made any such statements himself.
The Shangguan family took pride in having a descendant like him, and he felt proud of the Shangguan name. This was something both sides understood tacitly.
In everyone's mind, even if he wanted to play around, he would eventually return.
Power struggles are common in great families. But two generations ago, the Shangguan family head was wise enough to solve such internal dissipation through decentralization.
If you wanted to climb the ladder, you had to achieve sufficient results. The position of family head wasn't the only path—the Shangguan family had plenty of companies for people to compete for. Besides, that position often symbolized constraints more than it represented greater benefits.
Of course, this didn't mean no one competed. It just meant the cruelty had been eliminated. So everyone was more shocked than pleased by his announcement to leave the family.
"I fell in love with a man, so I'm leaving."
Still so calm, but the words were even more inflammatory. Fell in love with a man! Not a game, not casual fun, but love! Absolute and unwavering to the end.
Faced with such determination, others could only step back again. Even if they couldn't accept it, when confronted with such resolve, they could only acquiesce.
It's not that no one considered making a move against the person he'd fallen for. But such dramatic scenarios only happened in TV dramas. They would never happen in the Shangguan family—at least never against him—unless someone wanted to create an absolutely terrifying enemy for themselves.
"Why did you fall in love with him?"
When I asked this, he didn't answer. He didn't ignore me either. He just smiled. Though he said nothing, the tenderness in his eyes said enough.
It was still that study. The petals on the peach tree had long since fallen, and my heart was colder than that year.
I suddenly thought of that ancient poem about peach blossoms still blooming but people gone. In that moment, I felt as if I'd woken from a golden dream.
The phone suddenly rang. It was Xiaowei. Unconsciously, I smiled. This girl had her head filled with fairy tales and novels—her naive foolishness was单纯, though compared to his treasure, she was still much smarter. Well, shouldn't I say more straightforward?
As expected, the moment I connected, I heard her impatient voice: "Quick quick, how did it go? Tell me tell me."
"With me on the case, of course it's settled."
Excited shrieks immediately came through the phone: "I finally get to see a real-life BL couple—"
My smile widened. I could already imagine what scenes that呆瓜 and him would face going forward. As for him, never mind. But that呆瓜 would at least be affected somewhat.
I hung up. Outside, darkness had fallen. The ants below had become scattered sparks of light. In this moment, the feeling of being perched in the heavens intensified. I pulled the curtains closed.
Those fireworks should be going off now, right? Could this be considered a good deed I did? But does the role of good person suit me?
So um, this extra chapter I'm quietly slipping out. Don't spread the word — original was locked during censorship, but some classmates might accidentally purchase this chapter, so... so... cough...
Author's Note:
Censorship, censorship.
Job hunting sounds easy, but when you actually look, it's painful beyond measure. In the past half month, I've visited six companies. Either they don't want me, or the conditions are so harsh—even if I were willing, Shang would never agree.
In his words: "How about I pay you to do housekeeping at home?"
...
This is really hurtful to one's dignity! I'm好歹也是名牌大学毕业的好不好, though there's no distinction between high and low work, but I haven't fallen to the point of doing housekeeping, right? Besides... could I even do it?
Another day of running around with nothing to show. The moment I finished dinner, I wanted to curl up in my blankets, but Shang grabbed me: "What are you doing?"
"I borrowed a good disc. Come watch it with me."
I yawned: "No way, I'm exhausted. You watch it yourself." What good disc? Either horror movies or so-called blockbusters. The former might wake me up a bit; the latter only makes me drowsy.
"Fine, I'll sleep with you then."
I immediately straightened up, shaking my head like a rattle.开玩笑, if this guy gets into my room, who knows what might happen. Although I'm forced to live with him, in my mind, that definitely doesn't include that kind of behavior.
Well, if Shang were willing to let me top, hmm... I wouldn't be entirely opposed. But that's just wishful thinking. I don't have the guts to bring it up.
"I'll sleep alone, thanks. No need for you to accompany me."
"But it's boring being alone. Either you watch the movie with me, or I sleep with you. Your choice." He put on his most democratic face.
...Do I have a choice?
Reluctantly, I followed him to the screening room. The house was three hundred square meters—two people could never fill it—so Shang converted the study downstairs into a screening room. Though the space was a bit small, both air quality and environment were better than a movie theater. This was one reason I preferred watching discs.
"What kind of movie?" I curled up on the sofa and asked casually.
"Animation."
"Huh?" I immediately perked up. Shang was actually watching animation!
What kind of story could make Shang—who always dismissed animation as having no substance, pure nonsense, completely disconnected from reality—actually recommend something good? And good enough to drag me along?
I stared at the screen intently. The film was in its original language. Though I couldn't read Japanese, seeing those characters similar to Chinese, I guessed it was about corporations.
I immediately lost interest. Such stories about corporate competition requiring brainpower were never my thing. But within moments, something that absolutely shouldn't appear showed up on screen!
What was that? Two men? Two men kissing?!
I rubbed my eyes, doubting whether I was seeing things. But the following scenes were even more explosive. From kissing, to caressing, and then—undressing!!!
My jaw dropped. My brain completely crashed. But even though I couldn't think, those moans still drifted from the speakers into my ears.
As a healthy man, of course I'd had sexual urges before. But perhaps influenced by my childhood, these urges weren't strong. Plus, my life had always been simple—I'd never been to any places with adult entertainment. So except for that afternoon, sex was basically a blank in my mind.
But now, I—I was watching a porn film?
I didn't know whether the fact that I was watching porn or the slender youth's moans in the film hit me harder. But不可否认的, I blushed from head to toe. Even without a mirror, I knew I was redder than Guan Gong.
Before I could react, Shang's hand reached over. The moment I felt his rough hand, I shivered: "What are you doing?"
He innocently spread his hands: "I just wanted to check if you had a fever."
Then why are you touching my waist! I barely held back those words. I knew this guy had prepared a whole set of justifications—ever since that day, Shang was more and more like that bastard Yang Yun!
I glared at him and turned to leave.
Night lamps cast soft yellowish light. White curtains were half-open. In the breeze came a faint fragrance of flowers. On the crimson bedspread lay a snow-white figure. Black sheets exposed a sexy collarbone.
The youth slept. Perhaps dreaming of sweet scenery, a faint smile lingered on his lips. The door was gently pushed open. A tall man walked in.
His steps were light, his build sturdy. He wore only a white bathrobe. Slowly he walked to the bed and gently pulled back the covers. The youth beneath still wore a sleep robe, but perhaps from tossing and turning, it had completely opened. Red nipples with a hint of pink, a supple waist.
The man pressed down. The sleeping youth startled awake. But before he could make any sound, his mouth was captured. He opened his eyes in confusion, able only to make moan-like whimpering sounds.
The youth struggled, but his most important part below was immediately seized, and that可恶的大嘴 also descended to his nipple. Another large hand不停地刺激着他的敏感点。
"No, don't..." The youth begged, but that voice sounded more like a moan.
"But your little friend here says otherwise." The man可恶地点了一下肉棒的顶端. The youth immediately screamed.
"No..."
"No—" I screamed as I sat up, gasping for air. God, I'd had a wet dream! And a wet dream about both of us! All Shang's fault. If he hadn't brought that damn animation, why would I have such embarrassing dreams!
"No what?"
A voice suddenly appeared in the room. I jumped, only then realizing there was another家伙 lying next to me!
"Shang?" I was even more surprised than before, "What are you doing here?"
"Why can't I be here?" He half-opened his eyes, still sleepy, voice slightly slurred. If I weren't in shock, I might admit he looked kind of cute like this.
"I locked the door." Every night I carefully locked the door. I absolutely remembered that correctly.
"A-Yi..." He snuggled closer, wrapping his arms around my waist, burying his head in my shoulder, mumbling, "You don't know, do you... there's this thing called a key..."
I immediately turned to stone—stupid! Idiot! It's his house! Of course he has keys! Though I've never seen him use them, that doesn't mean they were lost, nor does it mean they don't exist! My brain really is like a shell. I couldn't even think of this. Deservedly I...
Uh, even if I didn't think of it, he shouldn't just sneak into my bed like this. Just as I was about to kick him out, he mumbled, "No what?"
"What?"
"You just shouted 'no.' No what?"
For the second time, I turned to stone. But perhaps because I'd been through too many shocks lately, my reaction this time was quite fast. I immediately said: "Nothing. I didn't say anything. You're hearing things in your sleep!"
"Oh." He responded. He didn't push further, but just as I was about to relax, he—who should have been asleep again—suddenly said, "A-Yi, you didn't have a wet dream, did you..."
"No!" I immediately screamed. "You're talking nonsense. I didn't have a wet dream. If anyone should have one, it's you, you万年发情猪!"
For the first time ever, I'd called Shang a pig. But I didn't have the mental energy to celebrate this historic achievement. At that moment, I was completely like a thief caught by the victim—panic, confusion, disorientation. In short, I didn't know what to do.
Two muffled laughs came from my shoulder. I immediately became a stove in winter, burning red. I gritted my teeth, about to bluster a bit more, when I heard a playful, shameless voice: "Yes, I did have a wet dream. Still haven't recovered..."
He said, grabbing my hand and placing it on his body. My hand was warm, but his body seemed even warmer than my hand. And when my hand slid onto a distinctly cylindrical object, it was even hotter...
The boiling point of water is 100 degrees. Lava is 1300 degrees. The sun's surface is 6000 degrees...
The reason I'm listing these is because I suspect I might have exceeded boiling water, lava, even the sun's surface, reaching a million degrees of solar corona!
Of course, this is just suspicion. They say lava can melt anything. But I'm sure I've never been this hot.
The thing in my hand was like a heat conductor, instantly transferring that terrifying temperature to me. Maybe it was too hot, but I had a few seconds of paralysis.
I didn't know how to react. But the moment I realized what I was holding, I tried to jump up like a spring.
But Shang was prepared. Without ceremony, he pressed a leg over me, one arm around my shoulder, and his other hand—grabbed my hand!
"Let go!" I gritted out. If I didn't know this was the most important thing for a man, I'd definitely squeeze hard!
He leaned even closer, rubbing my hand against... his thing! Whether it was my imagination or not, the thing in my hand seemed even hotter and harder...
"A-Yi..." He bit my ear, murmuring, "Don't you have needs too?"
Though my heart had been beating wildly, now it raced even faster: "Wh-what business is it of yours whether I have needs..."
"We're both men. No need to be embarrassed. Look, I'm already like this. Can you really watch me suffer?"
I don't care if you die! You wanted to watch that porn. You snuck into my bed. Now we're like this—your own fault. Can't take it... if you can't take it, solve it yourself!
"Besides, you have needs too." He finally released my hand but immediately grabbed my thing, beginning to stroke. "Tsk tsk, it's hard too."
I wished I could die of shame.
"Let—let go!"
"But your little friend here says otherwise." He said, quickly tapping below. I immediately screamed.
At this moment, I wondered if I was still dreaming. But the dream ended here, and his hand remained on me.
He talked while skillfully stroking. I had to admit, in this aspect, I couldn't compare with him. My sex drive was relatively low, but out of male needs, I'd relieved myself a few times. But my furtive self-relief compared to this was like the difference between plain noodles and a seafood feast.
In less than a while, I was like a fish out of water, only capable of gasping.
"Let—let go..." I trembled as I spoke, fighting to pull back my increasingly distant reason. "You—you let go of me..."
"Really want me to let go?" He said, tapping my little balls below. I immediately shuddered, nearly passing out.
"Then I'll really let go..."
He actually stopped. I secretly relaxed. Reason somewhat returned. But immediately, my lower body entered a warm area—Shang had taken my thing into his mouth!
But whether from shock or stimulation, before he could suck twice, I came.
"Sorry, sorry..." Though this guy deserved it, coming in his mouth like that was really...
I blushed, not knowing how to make it up to him. But he immediately pulled me up, pressing his mouth to mine.
"Mmm..." I was about to protest when something entered my mouth—soft was the tongue, but that liquid...
Even though it came from my own body, I didn't think there was any need for recycling. But Shang held on, and after struggling twice, I was forced to swallow.
He did it on purpose! He must be getting revenge!
My hand was grabbed by him again, pressed against that可恶 thing, forced to move back and forth.
"A-Yi, now it's your turn to help me..." At some point, his mouth had moved to my ear, biting my neck while murmuring.
"Why should I help you!"
I wanted to yell this. But first, my body was still a bit weak, my brain wasn't functioning well; second, I felt guilty. Though this guy had it coming, but coming in his mouth like that...
In a daze, my hand was grabbed, moving back and forth on that thing. And at the same time, his mouth and hands moved around.
Earlobe, neck, collarbone... I never knew a human body could be used like this. I never knew nerves could be this sensitive.
My heartbeat grew faster and faster, like drums pounding. The gasping grew louder—not sure if mine or his.
No, if this continues, I'll be done for!
Grasping the last thread of clarity, I suddenly sat up. He was slightly stunned but immediately reached out again.
"Wait, wait. I'll—I'll help you. You—you don't touch me anymore..." I struggled to say, not daring to look at him.
He smiled slightly, generously pulling back the covers. In an instant, an almost perfect body appeared before me.
Bronze skin, clearly visible six-pack, sturdy thighs... Every line was filled with power, like a wild leopard in the jungle—beautiful and dangerous. The smooth skin had a slight sheen, making it even more compelling.
And that man's thing stood proudly, the purple-red crown glistening with drops of fluid. My breathing quickened. My mouth went dry.
"A-Yi, are you just going to watch while helping me?" He said teasingly, but his voice was hoarse, expression dangerous, as if implying that if I didn't move, there would be consequences!
I gritted my teeth. Here goes! He's a man, I'm a man. Whatever he has, I have too. Though compared to him, I'm like a kitten next to a leopard, but—there's a song called "Cat" that was famous worldwide for over twenty years. From this perspective, cats, cats also have advantages!
After self-mocking, I was less nervous. But my outstretched hand still trembled.
"Just think of it as doing it for yourself. Just think of it as doing it for yourself..." Doing self-hypnosis, my hand finally touched him. The moment I did, Shang's low, hoarse moan reached my ears. My heart jumped. Instinctively I wanted to let go, but Shang immediately held me down.
I looked up. Shang's eyes were stunningly bright, face flushed with desire. He stared at me, eyes filled with dangerous warning.
I immediately lowered my head, trembling, and began stroking.
My technique was very clumsy, nothing compared to his. But Shang seemed to enjoy it very much. Constantly making heavy, hoarse moans. Somehow this sound reminded me of the porn I'd watched earlier. I suddenly felt the room filled with a sensual atmosphere.
But perhaps because of my clumsy technique, Shang's thing grew hotter and harder in my hand, yet showed no sign of release. He seemed dissatisfied and began giving instructions.
"Harder, left a bit, yes, below, the other hand, what is your other hand doing, yes..."
Damn Shang. He must be used to training people. Even at a time like this, he spoke with a commanding tone. But... for some reason I felt even hotter.
There's a saying: habit becomes natural. After a dozen minutes of stroking, though I hadn't gotten used to it, I was at least no longer so nervous. And under Shang's guidance, I knew what to do. But before I could relax slightly, I felt a clawed hand reach for me, grabbing my lower half directly.
"What are you doing!" I shuddered, said sharply.
"Helping you," he said boldly, as if doing something holy and righteous, "You want it too." He pumped twice. My retort immediately got stuck in my throat.
I wanted to cry!
Though I'd just released, my body hadn't fully recovered. But with what he did, I immediately had the most direct reaction.
"Men really are beasts who think with their lower bodies!" Lying on the bed, I deeply despised myself. Just thinking about last night's scene, I wanted to throw myself against a wall. Though Shang had mercifully not repeated what happened that afternoon, except for the final step, he'd done everything else. And my body had completely become like a fish out of water, dying and coming back under his control.
Pinkish-red light streamed in from the window. It seemed to be dawn. I turned to look at the clock. Five-thirty? It's not even March yet. At five-thirty, it should still be dark. Did I sleep the whole day?!
I jumped up, but my waist immediately protested with aching pain. Embarrassed and angry, I decided to go out and buy a lock. Absolutely不能让 Shang这头猪再摸进来了!
Just as I thought this, the culprit walked in, leisurely.
"Woken up?" He walked to the bed, without ceremony kissed me, and his hand simultaneously reached under the covers, touching my body.
"Let go... mmm..." I angrily scolded, but the moment I opened my mouth, his tongue pushed in, conquering my mouth, wrestling with my tongue.
This shameless pig! I trembled with rage, struggling desperately. But in strength, I'd never been a match for him from the start. Now I certainly had no chance of winning.
After肆虐了好一会儿, this guy finally stopped. But before I could catch my breath, his mouth came again. I immediately held up a hand to block him: "Stop right there. If you keep going, I'll get angry!"
"Who let you be so tempting." He said this boldly, as if everything was my fault.
I wanted to eat him. I glared furiously.
He sighed, face full of pain: "A-Yi, if you keep looking at me like that, I really can't hold back." As if to prove his words, he fiercely grabbed my waist.
I immediately shuddered, lowered my eyes, not daring to look at him. My heart screamed injustice—how did I, the victim, become the culprit?
"Fine, no more teasing. Get up and eat. You've slept the whole day." He took a deep breath and said.
"I really slept the whole day?"
"What do you think?"
"My interview!" I wailed. I had an important interview today—the best-paying job I might get.
"Fine, fine, don't scream. If this one doesn't work out, there'll be others. If you really can't find something suitable, just stay home. That way you can sleep every day." He said, glancing meaningfully at me.
I didn't know how to express my anger. Finally I only gritted out: "Get out. Don't ever enter my room again!"
His face darkened. Something quickly flashed through his eyes, then he said seriously: "That's impossible."
I opened my mouth wide, at a loss for words.
"A-Yi, I didn't enter your room before because I was giving you time to adjust. Two weeks have passed now. I think you've adjusted. If you can't adjust, then I'll have to force you to adjust. Don't you understand? Even without going through procedures, we are in a marital relationship. You know that? Couples are supposed to sleep together."
I gaped. It took me a long time to find my voice: "You—you didn't say that before." He only said we should live together, share a residence. In my mind, since we had no plans to marry, living together wasn't a big deal. How did we suddenly become married? When did I marry him? I'm a man! Man! Everything a man should have, I have. How can I be married to him!
"I meant that from the beginning. A-Yi, don't tell me you thought I was planning to spend my whole life with you in a Platonic relationship. I endured for six years. That's long enough." He said, face full of impatience.
I completely froze. Platonic? Shang? These obviously don't match. But—but, did I just, without realizing it,迷迷糊糊地把自己卖了?
As I stood there stunned, his mouth came again, kissing and biting mine. A tingling sensation spread through my whole body. I shuddered and pushed him hard.
He smiled, ruffled my hair. The tenderness in his eyes made my brain crash again: "Come on, get something to eat."
While saying this, his hands weren't idle. He scooped me up.
"What are you doing?" I startled, flustered, struggling—every time like this, I was强烈不满自己的身材力气. Clearly we're both men. Why is there such a big difference in strength between us?
"Don't fidget. I'm just carrying you to the bathroom."
"I can walk myself!"
"Of course you can. But I want to carry you."
"But I want to walk!" I gritted my teeth, wishing I could punch that smiling face off. "I'm a man. Man! Don't think that just because I... I... that thing with you last night makes me into a woman. Men helping each other is normal. It's no big deal. Even if— even if you have feelings, that's— that's your business. I haven't agreed. You can't decide this on your own."
I glowered, trying to look threatening. But I knew my words were somewhat食羞内荏. I don't know why, even though the道理 was on my side, I felt guilty.
He stopped walking, looking at me deeply. I startled, instinctively turned my face away.
"A-Yi," his voice was low and hoarse, "Suppose two people both want the same thing. The conditions are equal. But one person has wanted it for a long time, while the other just started thinking about it. Who should get it?"
Of course the one who's wanted it longer. I thought this instinctively, but with some reason, I swallowed this clearly metaphorical statement.
He laughed lowly, kissing me again: "A-Yi, I've wanted this for a very long time. Every day watching you run down in your underwear, I wanted to come hold you, wash your hair, wash your hands, wash your nails, wash your arms, wash your back, wash your legs..."
He said, and his hands moved over these body parts. Only then did I notice—we'd entered the bathroom without my realizing, and I was sitting on the counter.
His palm was burning hot. The slightly rough skin made me shiver. My head started to fog again. If I were honest, I should admit my body enjoyed this sensation. But my reason told me this was honey-coated poison. If I ate it... I'd be completely done!
I tried desperately to hold onto a thread of reason. But his mouth closed over my ear—that tingling sensation spread through my whole body again.
Done! My brain went blank. The last shred of clarity was hanging by a thread.
"Do you know why I insisted you use the downstairs bathroom? I wanted to use that time to look at you. But you always ran so fast. I only purposely set the temperature wrong so I could come in again while adjusting it."
Ear, neck, collarbone. As he spoke, he moved over my body. The wet sensation on my skin was strange, yet I didn't feel disgusted. Instead, as he moved, I felt dizzy—not head dizzy, but skin dizzy. Wherever his mouth went, that patch of skin felt like it wasn't mine anymore.
His words came one by one. I heard every one, but my completely罢工的 brain couldn't piece them together.
"You bad guy. Recently you've been calling me less and less. Are you trying to freeze me to death?" He said, biting my shoulder hard. I snapped back to reality.
"You—you did that on purpose!" I was both angry and embarrassed. So every time I called him, I was leading the wolf to my door!
He grinned at me, taking a towel to wipe my face.
"I can wipe myself!"
"Fine, fine. Good boy. Let me do it once. Be good, don't move. I'll definitely do better than you do yourself." His voice was low and sweet, making me think of last night's almost identical scene. At that time, I was exhausted to the point of collapse. Yet he came again. He said the same thing then, just with one more word: "again."