# Chapter 16 Willingly
With a summons, Zhongshan rose and bowed to the visitor. "Please sit, Your Majesty."
Weiyang glanced at him with厌恶, sat down, but didn't know how to begin.
A moment of silence passed before Zhongshan broke the awkwardness. "I wonder what brings the Queen consort to our humble residence?"
Weiyang considered for a moment, then got straight to the point: "Zhongshan, stop pretending to be a good person. Xiao Mu likes you, and now the Shen family has sent me to ask about your intentions."
Zhongshan smiled. "Since the Shen family is so kind, and Your Majesty has spoken for them, Zhongshan is truly honored."
Weiyang was secretly shocked by how readily he agreed, exclaiming, "Zhongshan, you..."
"What's wrong with me?" Zhongshan said with an enigmatic smile. "Your Majesty, I know what you want to say. Xiao Mu and I were just playing around—there's no need for you to be concerned."
Zhongshan sat in his armchair, dressed in dark purple casual robes, without his usual domineering aura, wearing a nonchalant smile of worldly indifference.
To Weiyang, this handsome and easygoing man was utterly disgusting! Her face slightly paled as she asked, "Then after you get married, you'll cut ties with Mancheng completely?"
Zhongshan tilted his head. "Marriage is marriage, playing is playing—there's seemingly no connection between the two."
"You—!" Weiyang felt this man was completely unreasonable! She raged for a moment before suppressing it, gazing coldly at him.
Zhongshan continued to smile without a word.
Weiyang didn't want to say another word to this hypocrite and stood to leave, but Zhongshan softly said, "If the Shen family asks, please tell them that Zhongshan will select an auspicious day soon to go and propose with betrothal gifts."
Weiyang thought of Shen Mu's pure and innocent smile, her heart sank, and she snapped angrily, "Zhongshan, I forbid you from ever seeing Shen Mu again! Or you'll bear the consequences!"
"What consequences?" Zhongshan's smile carried a hint of provocation.
Weiyang's face grew paler still.
"Your Majesty, playing around with Mancheng certainly won't get me killed—you're different. I suggest you be sensible and not meddle in affairs that don't concern you."
Weiyang shuddered all over. How could she not understand the clear threat in Zhongshan's words!
Zhongshan watched Weiyang's frail figure disappear beyond the door,苦笑.
A figure emerged from the side hall—wearing a white-gray cotton robe, two swords at the waist, their crimson hilts strikingly conspicuous. He stood by the doorway, his clear and penetrating eyes filled with worry, and more than that, confusion.
Zhongshan extended his hand toward him and said, "Come here."
Like an obedient child, he approached and embraced Zhongshan, drooping his head against Zhongshan's shoulder. "When you get married, what should I give you?"
"Mancheng..." Zhongshan called his name tenderly, then fell silent.
In the deep courtyard of the General's mansion, a lamp burned all night without extinguish.
The two sat silently at the table, each drinking their sorrows, each harboring their own troubles, each wounded by their own passions.
At dawn, when the wine was gone but neither was drunk, Qu Xue, exhausted, propped up his reddened eyes and finally couldn't contain his distress. Sighing repeatedly, he spoke: "Zhongshan, I've decided to take her away from here."
Zhongshan advised, "Your family is a prestigious clan. You have parents above and younger siblings below—harmonious and content. Why must you be so stubborn, destroying your own future?"
Qu Xue laughed bitterly. "You're lecturing me now? How could someone so open-minded still treat Zhongbo Manor as home every day? I think you're more pitiful than me."
"That's different for me." Zhongshan's expression was indifferent. "I'm alone, I have nothing. What could I possibly be attached to? The only reason I stayed in Yuanliao is for him."
Qu Xue staggered to his feet, sighing. "Fine then—consider me a son my parents never had. I've disgraced them completely. I'll... just disappear. From now on, they'll only have my younger brother to rely on..." Then, as if remembering something, he couldn't help but smile. "I remember Sihu told me something once—he said that devoted people in this world never have good endings."
Zhongshan laughed bitterly for a moment. "Since you've decided, I'll help arrange everything for you."
Qu Xue gratefully patted his shoulder. "Good brother, thank you."
"...Where are you going?"
"Doesn't matter—anywhere. Somewhere with few people, or some remote countryside. As long as it's with her, anywhere is fine." Qu Xue's eyes filled with longing as he slowly said, "Since I met her, I've had no ambitions or aspirations left. I only want to be with her, to be together with her for a lifetime."
What pierced the scar at the bottom of his heart? It was that phrase he'd repeated countless times: "Anywhere is fine."
It was that "together for a lifetime" that never belonged to him.
Endless sorrow and desolation welled up in his brow. Zhongshan clenched his teeth but couldn't stop his eyes from reddening.
Qu Xue looked at him with pity. "You suffer more than I do. You know clearly that Xia Mancheng has always been playing with you—why are you so devoted? He's moody and has no humanity. The day he gets bored of you, he'll turn cold and pretend you don't exist. For someone like that, it's not worth it."
Zhongshan let out a heavy breath. "I know I loved the wrong person, but I can't turn back..."
Everything about him is deeply carved into my heart—unremovable, indelible. I cannot live, cannot die. It's excruciating yet impossible to let go.
From the moment I first saw him, I decided to waste this entire life on him. If he's willing, in the next life, and the next... I'll give him everything.
In this world, devoted people never have good endings.
I believe it. I am willing.
In the dim crimson curtains of Rongxi Garden, there was a soft, tender call: "Mancheng..."
"Mm?"
"I thought you'd fallen asleep. Turn to face me—I have something to say..."
Mancheng rolled over and moved closer to her. "What is it?"
Weiyang hesitated, unsure how to begin.
"What is it?" Mancheng asked again.
"I heard Young General Qu broke with General Qu over a courtesan. What kind of woman is she?"
"She's certainly beautiful-looking, that's for sure." Mancheng reached out and embraced her, laughing. "Otherwise how could that kid Qu Xue be so completely bewitched by her?"
Weiyang pouted. "Don't you also frequent those places often? Why hasn't anyone bewitched you?"
"That's a fair point. Since no one's monitoring me anyway, marrying a courtesan to be the general's lady wouldn't be bad either." As Mancheng spoke and saw Weiyang's lips pouting in anger, he quickly smiled apologetically. "I'm just joking. Are you upset?"
"What right do I have to be upset?" Weiyang's heart was heavy with worry, tears pooling in her eyes. She sighed, "I actually envy that woman. Young General Qu gave up everything for her." Mancheng didn't respond. She continued crying on her own. "Mancheng, I can't take this secret tryst anymore. Take me away. With your abilities, it wouldn't be hard at all!"
Mancheng held her shoulder, smiling. "Escape to where? You've been raised in luxury since childhood. No matter where we go from here, we'll suffer."
"I don't care." Weiyang said earnestly. "As long as I'm with you, I'd willingly endure any hardship!"
Mancheng froze. This sentence—why was it so familiar? In that distant memory, who had spoken these words so earnestly, so devotedly to him?
Weiyang gazed at him expectantly. After a long, long while, the brief confusion in Mancheng's eyes vanished completely. He moved his lips, his voice so light it was barely audible: "I'm sorry. I'm unwilling."
Weiyang's tears wouldn't stop flowing. "Why? Is it... is it that you can't give up this wealth and luxury? Can't you give up this power and status?"
Mancheng's eyes dimmed, reflecting cold and decadent brilliance in the faint candlelight.
I've already sacrificed my life, my soul, my dignity.
What could I possibly be unable to let go of?
"Me... I can't let go of a person..." After Mancheng said this, he silently rose and began dressing. With his back to her, his voice cold as ice: "If you insist, then we shouldn't see each other anymore."
"Mancheng!" Weiyang clung to him, tears falling onto his back. "Is it that you can't give up Zhongshan? Fine then! I'll listen to everything you say. Please don't say things like that—I'll die if I can't see you."
Mancheng grasped Weiyang's hands resting on his chest. Her tears had soaked his collar.
He sat motionless, eyes closed.
What did he remember?
He remembered the person he couldn't let go of, remembered the carefree days of youth, remembered the profound obsession that would缠绕 a lifetime.
**Prior Events**
Jinyin sent off several ladies and young misses who had come to visit, standing at the entrance in a daze. Lanxing came to advise, "Princess, it's cold outside—come back inside."
Jinyin nodded, about to turn back, when hurried footsteps sounded. Mancheng came running back. Seeing Jinyin, he smiled and said, "Oh, Sister!" His foot caught on a step and he nearly fell.
Jinyin laughed aloud. "Where have you been gallivanting?"
Mancheng climbed the steps, grinning. "Gambling with Jinlu today. Peng Hong and Zhang Zhou were both there too. Those two really live up to being sworn brothers—both complete idiots, lost a ton of money... Hehe..."
Jinyin scolded, "What kind of people are you? How did you learn to gamble?"
"Sister," Mancheng retorted, "a little gambling is good for the soul!" Seeing Jinyin glaring at him, he quickly smiled. "Have Mandu and Xiangguang gone to sleep?"
"Long ago! Several groups of people came today and it got very late." Jinyin took Mancheng's hand, turning to head inside. "Come on in."
Mancheng looked somewhat embarrassed, whispering, "Zhang Zhou is coming later, behind me..."
Jinyin gave Mancheng a sideways glance. "So that's why Zhongshan didn't stick to you today. That poor boy really knows when to give way." Then, seeing Mancheng even more embarrassed, she smiled and changed the subject. "It seems Mandu has been taking medicine for so long but still isn't getting better. I just asked Physician You about it."
Mancheng stared at the doorway, absentmindedly asked, "What did he say?"
"He said he's actually improved a lot, but Mandu's constitution is too weak—he'll grow out of it. But I'm still worried. Should we try another doctor another day?"
"No need," Mancheng said distractedly, advising, "He's the best doctor in the city. Anyone else's skill would be worse. Stop worrying over nothing. As for you, you just gave birth—take care of your health, don't stand outside in the wind..." Just as he said this, he saw Zhang Zhou enter. Mancheng's face split into a grin. "You lost."
Jinyin looked completely confused. "What game are you two playing?"
"We bet on who would arrive first." Zhang Zhou smiled, then asked Mancheng, "Which route did you take?"
"I climbed over the wall from Ruyi East Palace."
Zhang Zhou laughed helplessly. "You'd do anything to win money from me."
"Enough talk." Mancheng cut him off. "Hand over the money!"
Lanxing covered her mouth and smiled. "The general and the king aren't lacking money—why are you gambling?"
"I enjoy winning! I'm pleased! I'm happy!" Mancheng hopped around, urging Zhang Zhou to pay up.
Zhang Zhou cursed with a smile: "From now on I'm adding more guards to patrol Ruyi Palace—if I catch anyone climbing the wall, beat them to death!"
The group talked as they entered the inner rooms. Jinyin saw Mandu's lamp was still on, so she went in. Just as she was about to turn off the lamp, she saw his sleeping face—so peaceful and adorable, exactly like Mancheng when he was little.
Mancheng when he was little...
Jinyin sighed, sitting silently by his bedside in a daze.
Mancheng held a box of pastries, eating a few. Glancing up, he saw Zhang Zhou staring at him blankly, so he grinned and asked, "Want some?"
"Tsk!" Zhang Zhou laughed despite himself. "Your eating habits are still so barbaric." He reached over and wiped the crumbs from Mancheng's face. Just as he was about to say something, Mancheng jumped up and ran to get water.
"I almost choked to death." Mancheng drank several gulps, sighed with relief, and turned to find Zhang Zhou still lost in thought. "What's wrong with you?" He moved closer to Zhang Zhou, teasing. "Is losing a little money really that depressing?"
Zhang Zhou didn't answer. His expression grew grimmer by the moment. After a long silence, he suddenly blurted out: "Mancheng, do you want to find out who Xiangguang's real father is?"
Mancheng froze. "Who told you that?"
"Jinyin."
"...Yes."
"What will you do once you find out?"
"What else? I'll make him marry my sister. If he won't, I'll destroy him." Mancheng's eyes blazed with killing intent.
Zhang Zhou's thoughts were in turmoil. He abruptly embraced Mancheng and pleaded, "Mancheng, don't investigate anymore."
"Why?" Mancheng held him, but heard no answer. "Why not?"
He buried his face in Mancheng's chest, not saying a word.
The room fell into deathly silence. Mancheng understood everything. Tears fell silently—Zhang Zhou could feel them landing in his hair, sliding down his ears, down his forehead.
I'm sorry, Mancheng. If there's a chance in the future, I'll definitely explain everything to you.
Mancheng released the arm that held him, stepped back, and said trembling: "You... you... I really don't know, you and my sister..."
"No," Zhang Zhou hastily explained, lifting his head to see Mancheng's delicate face covered in tears, grief compounding upon pain. "Mancheng, it was me acting licentiously from drunkenness. Don't blame Jinyin."
But Mancheng couldn't hear any of it. Yingyou's voice had never faded from his ears—"At least I can bear him children. Can you?
You are completely useless to him."
"Mancheng, I'm sorry, I—" Zhang Zhou frantically wiped the tears from Mancheng's face, but the tears still rolled ceaselessly from beneath those long lashes.
Mancheng shoved Zhang Zhou away violently. Endless resentment and anguish ravaged his cold eyes. He moved his lips, as if asking Zhang Zhou, or perhaps asking himself: "How many of the things you've said to me are actually true?"
"Mancheng, I—"
Mancheng walked out without looking back.
Zhang Zhou knew that no matter what he said now would be futile.
Lanxing entered Mandu's room, softly saying, "Princess, it's very late."
Jinyin answered, rose, and walked out of Mandu's room, returning to her own sleeping quarters.
Xiangguang lay in the small cradle, sleeping soundly. Jinyin walked over and gazed at him lovingly, unconsciously smiling with happiness.
Whatever happened before—let bygones be bygones. I have Xiangguang now. What more could I possibly wish for?
Xiangguang's face was slightly ashen. Jinyin's heart ached as she thought: wrapped so tightly, yet his little face is still cold. Thinking this, she reached out to warm his cheek. But she touched a face cold as stone!
"Xiangguang?" Jinyin recoiled in fright.
She reached out again to touch him—Xiangguang had stopped breathing.