# Chapter 25: Helpless
"Your Majesty, the Yongzhao Army's strength has grown rapidly in recent days. The southern column has already consumed vast territories of Yaojiang. Yaojiang will likely be destroyed very soon." General Qi Biao, over half a century old but still as imposing as ever, stood before His Highness Yaoli, his voice ringing like a bell. "Your servant believes this Yongzhao Army is as unstoppable as a rainbow. It cannot be underestimated."
Zhang Zhou sat high upon the throne, contemplating for a moment before saying, "He Mingpei's ambitions are great indeed. I see he won't stop after taking Yaojiang. Deng is south of Yaojiang, a tiny nation—the Yongzhao Army will certainly press forward and take Deng in one fell swoop. And Yuanliao has friendly relations with Deng. Once war breaks out, Yuanliao will stand shoulder to shoulder with Deng."
General Qi shook his head. "Your servant believes this army is no longer what it once was. Yuanliao should send envoys to befriend Yongzhao."
"What makes you say so?"
"The Yongzhao Army maintains strict discipline, their soldiers are exceptionally well-organized, and they treat captives generously. Everywhere they go, the common people embrace them. To oppose them would surely..."
"Surely what?" A cold voice cut in. Man Cheng's face was dark as water. He swept a haughty glance over Qi Biao. "Does General Qi have opinions about Man Cheng's conduct?"
Qu Zhenlie, relying on his noble status as the king's brother-in-law, wore a righteous, fearless expression. "General Qi made no mention of General Xia. If the Weizhen Army under General Xia's command also treated captives generously and won the hearts of the people, what would you be so anxious about?"
"I am merely a military man. My purpose is to win battles and quell all possible rebellions. If you don't root out the weeds, you'll leave future troubles. His Majesty should understand best." Man Cheng pointed toward Zhang Zhou's throne, his voice cold as ice. "If Zhang Shun had rooted out the weeds back then, he would still be firmly seated on this dragon throne today."
Peng Hong could no longer hold back, frowning. "Man Cheng, what do you mean by that? The brother-in-law merely wishes to advise you to discipline the Weizhen Army's conduct. That's nothing but benefits, with no harm."
Man Cheng snorted coldly. "Zhong Shan, remind the brother-in-law what accomplishments the Wutao Army has achieved in recent years."
The National Guard General stepped forward and recited as if by rote, "Three campaigns at Jianqing City ended in failure with nothing to show. During the Huinan battle, the Wutao Army arrived first to resist the enemy, and the result was that General Qian De, the royal son-in-law, died on the battlefield..."
"Is that enough?" Zhang Zhou impatiently cut Zhong Shan off. His gaze fell on Man Cheng. "All Weizhen Army affairs are to be decided by the commanding general. None of you are to meddle further."
Qu Zhenlie and the old General Qi exchanged a glance, shaking their heads and sighing.
Xiu Yi lit incense for Man Du and sat to the side.
Lan Xing brought tea. "My Lady, General Xia still hasn't woken. He might sleep the whole day again."
"I know. I'm not looking for him—when I see him, my heart aches." Xiu Yi glanced at Lan Xing and sighed. "Lan Xing, there's no need to be so restrained. All these years, we haven't treated you as a servant."
Lan Xing remained silently.
"Lan Xing, you're truly a good woman. It's Man Cheng who owes you." Xiu Yi took her hand and gestured for her to sit beside her.
Lan Xing perched on the edge of the chair.
"How has Man Cheng been lately?"
Tears instantly clouded Lan Xing's eyes. She lowered her voice. "He gets drunk nearly every day and comes home very late. Sometimes he doesn't come back at all..."
Xiu Yi quickly dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief. After some contemplation, she asked, "When Her Majesty the Queen came here to burn incense, did he accompany her at all?"
Lan Xing raised her head, looking at Xiu Yi in surprise.
"There's no need to be so shocked. I know about their situation." Xiu Yi's expression was one of calm acceptance. "Weiyang is also a pitiful woman. I only hope her child can be born quickly..."
Man Cheng swayed as he walked to the side hall's entrance. Just as he was about to call for Lan Xing, Zhong Shan covered his mouth and whispered, "Did you hear what the princess said?"
Man Cheng shrunk back against the door.
Lan Xing's soft voice drifted over. "When Her Majesty the Queen came here to burn incense, the General was almost always asleep. Sometimes when he's a bit more lucid, he'll keep her company."
"Sigh... I see Weiyang's complexion has been very poor lately. With Man Cheng treating her this way, how could her mood be good?" Xiu Yi lifted her tea to drink, worry creasing her brow. "Her melancholy like this will affect the child. That rascal Zhang Zhou actually asked me to come here and advise Man Cheng to pay more attention to her. How could I possibly say such a thing?"
Man Cheng's expression instantly darkened. Zhong Shan tried to pull him away, but Man Cheng violently shook him off and pressed closer to the door.
Lan Xing couldn't help but let tears fall. "My Lady, if you see His Majesty, could you ask him to find time to come see the General..."
"How could he not have time?" Xiu Yi coldly cut her off. "During the time Man Cheng was at Huinan, His Majesty was at Rongxi Garden every single day. How could he not have time? It was all a lie to deceive Man Cheng."
Man Cheng's breathing began to grow ragged and uneven.
Lan Xing sobbed. "My Lady, ever since the young prince died, the General has been like a walking corpse. His Majesty has placed all his heart on the Queen. Even when he难得 came once, he just quarreled with the General. Since the General returned from Huinan, His Majesty hasn't set foot in Zhongbi Manor at all... Back in Dudong, His Majesty didn't treat him like this. Now with this coldness, how is he supposed to bear it?"
Xiu Yi's gaze grew distant. After a long while, she slowly said, "Zhang Zhou... he's terrified of others finding out about his relationship with Man Cheng, terrified beyond reason... He's already different from before. Why can't Man Cheng wake up to this? The reason Zhang Zhou still maintains contact with Man Cheng now—he himself doesn't even know if it's love or fear."
Behind the door, the man forgot to breathe. His gaze suddenly went hollow.
Zhong Shan's heart ached with helplessness. He couldn't bear to let him listen any further. He scooped him up and carried him back.
Man Cheng didn't struggle, like a wooden puppet, allowing Zhong Shan to carry him back to the courtyard.
Tears flowed silently into Zhong Shan's embrace.
How many more tears can I shed for that person? How many more breaths can I sustain for that person?
I... how much have I lost, and what have I gained?
The vast Zhongbi Manor was as cold and deserted as if no one lived there. In the deep darkness of night, someone stumbled noisily into the manor, startling the few remaining servants—just three or four left.
Lan Xing stamped her foot and sighed. "How did he get this drunk again? General Cheng, why didn't you try to stop him?"
"What good would my persuasion do?" Zhong Shan carried Man Cheng on his back toward the room, his expression one of utter helplessness.
Man Cheng had already vomited all over Zhong Shan, mumbling, "Man Du, your brother is home!" A moment later, he muttered to himself, "Why did the kid go to sleep so early?"
Tears welled in Lan Xing's eyes. She quickly turned away to fetch hot water for Man Cheng.
Zhong Shan laid Man Cheng down on the bed, but Man Cheng still wouldn't settle. He grabbed Zhong Shan's clothes and shouted, "Zhang Zhou! You damned son of a bitch! What do you take me for? What do you take me for?"
"General Cheng, he's been like this lately. How bad for his health!" Lan Xing wiped the sweat and tears from his face, worry etched across her features. She quietly muttered, "His Majesty really is..."
Zhong Shan took the cloth from her hand and said flatly, "That's enough. Go on, get some rest."
Lan Xing nodded and withdrew.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Man Cheng grabbed Zhong Shan's clothes, coughed twice, and shouted. "Cheng Zhongshan, you're not allowed to leave!"
Zhong Shan coaxed gently. "I'm not leaving. I told Lan Xing to go rest..."
"Cough cough cough...urgh..." Man Cheng burst into another coughing fit. He turned on his side and vomited all over the head of the bed.
Zhong Shan's heart ached terribly. He wiped Man Cheng's face with a cloth. "You've been coughing a lot lately. Let's find a doctor tomorrow."
"To hell with it!" Man Cheng死死 grabbed Zhong Shan's lapels, his words slurred. "I won't see anyone! I won't!"
"What if you get seriously ill from not seeing a doctor?"
"Cheng Zhongshan, what gives you the right to manage me! Since when does it become your turn to manage this old man!" Man Cheng shoved Zhong Shan away violently, feeling like his whole body was on fire. "It hurts...cough...Zhong Shan! I feel terrible!"
"Alright, stop making a fuss. You'll feel better once you sleep."
"It hurts..." Man Cheng ignored him. While pulling open his own collar buttons, he tossed and turned on the bed. Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed Zhong Shan again, laughing a couple of times, his words unclear. "Zhong Shan, let's do it. Hurry up!"
"You're this drunk. You should just get some sleep early." Zhong Shan pulled the blanket over him, then lifted his head to wipe the sweat from the back of his neck,忙得不可开交.
"I said do it, so stop talking nonsense!" Man Cheng kicked the blanket away, yanked down his pants, and pulled Zhong Shan over.
"Man Cheng, you..." Zhong Shan tried to劝 again.
Man Cheng slapped him hard across the face, shouting, "Stop dawdling! Hurry up and make me feel good!"
Silently, Zhong Shan climbed onto the bed and drew near Man Cheng's body. In the darkness, he fumbled to join with him...
"Ah..." Man Cheng cried out without restraint. As the surging, rolling movements continued, his whole body trembled. Suddenly, he shouted a name: "Zhang Zhou!"
That name left his lips, and ignoring the person laboring to bring him pleasure in the darkness, he called out repeatedly, "Zhang Zhou! Zhang Zhou! You...Zhang Zhou...hold me tighter!"
Zhong Shan bit his lower lip tightly. He didn't dare slow his movements for a moment.
"Zhang Zhou! Zhang Zhou...I miss you so much..."
"..."
"I love you, Zhang Zhou. Do you hear me?"
"..."
"I love you, I love you...Zhang Zhou, I love you..."
Man Cheng shouted, wept. Though he was as drunk as mud, though all before him was pitch black, he knew perfectly well who was holding him. He felt distinctly the cold droplets falling onto his burning skin—not sweat, but tears...
In the alcohol-hazed room, a man lowered his voice, weeping mournfully and helplessly.
Yet the person in the drunken stupor heard not a sound of this weeping. His face was peaceful, and it seemed, faintly, a smile even appeared.
Dreaming of what?
Of the happiest days of his life.
Of the person he longed for most, yearned for most.
"Man Cheng..." Zhong Shan lay against Man Cheng's sweat-damp chest, calling softly, "Man Cheng...Man Cheng, you..."
You...
You couldn't bear to damage his reputation. You couldn't bear to make things difficult for him. You couldn't bear to bite him or hit him. You couldn't even bear to dirty him.
You...you just use me like this...
Why must I lose my mind over someone like you?
Under this layer of skin I press against, what kind of heart is it exactly?
When dawn's light began to gray, the person who had wept all night sat up.
He carefully wiped the other man's face and hair.
He tucked the blanket tightly around him.
He kissed and kissed those lips reeking of alcohol...
Then, quietly, he left the room.