Chapter 77: Dead End
**Preface**
Man Cheng had barely stepped through the gates of Langjing Garden when a dirty little imp came charging at him. "Brother! You're back!"
"You're crushing me to death! Get off, you little rascal! Stop clinging to me like a monkey!" Man Cheng's face broke into a grin even as he cursed, pulling Man Du close in a tight embrace.
As if Man Du would listen? "Brother, why did it take so long this time? You've been gone for almost half a year! I missed you so much! Did you miss Man Du?" Man Du wrapped his arms around Man Cheng's neck and "aa-woo" nipped him on the cheek.
"Wow!" Man Cheng jumped up, laughing helplessly. "You've learned everything from Zhong Shan! You've got a face full of my drool! Get down, you're too heavy!"
"No way! Did you miss me? Did you bring me yummy treats and fun toys?" Man Du giggled but still refused to climb down from Man Cheng.
"Yep! I missed you so much! I thought about you every day! I brought back all the special treats from Xiongzhou."
Man Du craned his neck past Man Cheng's shoulder to peer at the dappled yellow horse. "You're such a cheater! You put everything on Zhong Shan's horse! Ha ha ha... Poor Zhong Shan's horse, no wonder it hasn't arrived yet."
"He'll be here soon, then you'll have plenty to eat! The dried fish from Xiongzhou is incredibly delicious! Fish from the sea really are something else, tsk tsk..." As Man Cheng spoke, his own mouth watered at the thought.
Man Du swallowed hard and waved his arms frantically. "Ah! Why is that stupid Zhong Shan so slow..."
Lan Xing watched with a delighted smile. "Young Prince, the General must be exhausted from his long journey. Please get down."
Man Du pouted and shook his head.
Man Cheng's face was full of tender indulgence as he hugged Man Du and peppered kisses on his face. "Forget it, it doesn't matter. This little rascal has gotten heavier. In a few more years, I won't be able to carry him at all." He turned and asked, "Where's my sister?"
"The Princess is still very weak and is resting inside."
Man Du bounced excitedly, jostling Man Cheng's neck. "Brother! Hurry in and take a look! Xiang Guang is so cute! But he's so tiny, will he grow up big?"
"Ha ha ha... I said the same thing when you were born! Look at you now, all grown up!" Man Cheng carried Man Du toward the house, then suddenly noticed the squirrel-calling whistle around his neck was missing.
His heart sank: That whistle—Man Du never took it off for years. How did he lose it again? Now how was he supposed to summon the squirrel?
"Man Du..." Man Cheng stared at Man Du's bare neck and asked carefully, "What happened to that whistle?"
"I broke it."
"Broke it?" Man Cheng's voice cracked. "Why?"
That squirrel was Man Du's lifeline!
Man Du furrowed his small brows, a look of regret and loss crossing his face.
"You don't like it anymore?" Man Cheng asked again.
Man Du shook his head and sighed softly, taking on the air of a tiny adult. "I thought it was so pitiful. It loves freedom so much, but no matter how unwilling it was, it always had to come back to me. Brother, do you think it's very pitiful?"
Man Cheng froze.
Lan Xing's expression shifted, and she chided softly, "Young Prince!"
"What's wrong?" Man Du looked confused, tilting his head to look at Man Cheng. "Brother, did I say something wrong?"
Man Cheng's heart plummeted, but he managed a smile. "No, you didn't."
"Really!" Man Du's pure face lit up with another smile, and he continued, "I've tried to let it go several times, but whenever the whistle was within reach, I couldn't resist calling it back. Every time it came back, it seemed so lifeless. Houpo Sister said squirrels only live about six or seven years, so it doesn't have much time left. It spent its whole life with me, making me happy, and I kept forcing it to do things it didn't want to do. How cruel is that? So I made a hard decision and broke the whistle. Now it never has to..."
Lan Xing watched Man Cheng's expression grow darker by the moment and quickly interjected, "Young Prince, the General is tired. Please get down."
Man Du's cheeks puffed out with委屈, about to say more, when Zhong Shan walked in through the door.
"Zhong Shan!" Man Du cheered, sliding down from Man Cheng in an instant and lunging toward him.
Zhong Shan looked at this little troublemaker who was practically a carbon copy of Man Cheng and couldn't help but laugh. "Man Du, how did you get so dirty? Were you crawling through dog holes again?"
"I did not!" Man Du stamped his feet. "Hurry up and bring out the food."
His gluttonous expression was exactly the same too! Zhong Shan grinned, crouching down to tease him. "I ate it all on the way."
Man Cheng didn't believe him for a second. He wrapped his arms around Zhong Shan's neck and whined, "Zhong Shan Ge is the best. Hurry up and bring out the food..."
"Ha ha ha..." Zhong Shan laughed so hard he sat right down on the ground. "Man Cheng, look! Man Du is becoming more and more like you! This is too funny... Hey, what's wrong? Man Cheng?"
Man Cheng's expression turned cold. He said flatly, "I'm going to see my sister." Then he turned and walked into the inner courtyard.
Go to war, kill enemies, return in triumph, accept those meaningless honors and rewards, then go to war again.
An endless cycle. The simple life of the past will never return. I can no longer turn back...
The world sees me as a demon. Countless lives lost by my hand. Since I've already sunk to the depths of filth, what difference does a few more lives make?
This isn't the life I wanted, but only this way can I help him.
Ying You, you're wrong. I'm not useless. Only someone with my unique abilities—no one else has such power—can fulfill his wish.
That squirrel still has Man Du to take pity on it. But who pities me?
Those who might have pitied me... I've killed them all in secret...
Man Cheng pushed open his sister's door, and his heart immediately settled.
Jin Yin exclaimed happily, "You're back! Houpo, quickly, get the General some water."
He sat beside the bed and looked at Xiang Guang wrapped in the swaddling cloth. Though small and thin, the child was bright and adorable. Man Cheng smiled. "Too bad I missed his full-month celebration."
Jin Yin gazed at him with tender love. "You rushed back without rest. Are you tired?"
Man Cheng shook his head. "Take care of yourself! Rest more and pay attention to your health!"
Houpo entered and handed Man Cheng the water. "General, please drink."
Man Cheng took it. He heard Houpo say to Jin Yin, "The Qi family also sent a gift for the Little Prince."
"Little Prince?" Man Cheng asked.
"Eh? Does the General not know?" Houpo smiled and answered, "The King conferred the title! He even gave Xiang Guang this name. The King is about to move the entire court's tribute treasures to Langjing Garden. When others saw how much the King dotes on Young Prince Xiang Guang, they're all sending gifts and currying favor. They're practically breaking down the door."
"Houpo," Jin Yin chided softly, "Watch your words! What currying favor? If outsiders heard, how bad would that be! Don't say such things!"
Houpo smiled sheepishly. "I know, I know. I'm only saying this for the General."
Man Cheng felt not a shred of joy. Coldly he said, "This fellow just won't listen to reason. His generosity has become so outrageous, it only makes the civil and military officials of the court more suspicious of me."
"Forget it. Let them be suspicious." Jin Yin smiled, holding Man Cheng's hand. She said softly, "You don't care about any of that. He simply doesn't know any other way to love you enough."
How could he not know? Man Cheng took a sip of water, staring into the clear liquid in the cup. The tears that flowed out were far more numerous than the water he drank.
Man Cheng shook his head, and his vision cleared. Scattered tears fell onto the grass.
Zhang Zhou... The excruciating pain throughout my body makes me begin to doubt whether any of this was worth it! If you had never come to Anqing all those years ago, what would my life have been like?
In my brief life, I've loved you desperately and hated you to the bone!
I truly don't want to die! But you... you've pushed me to this point...
Zhang Zhou! The person who loves you, who lingers for you, who changes themselves for you—it's me! And yet, I'm not as important to you as your Yuan Liao! You love it, but it doesn't love you!
Zhang Zhou... I... won't get to see you anymore...
Man Cheng's right hand braced against his blade as he knelt on one knee, unable to rise. Wei Yang struggled to move toward him while Lian Heng limped over to support her.
He Mingpei saw Man Cheng's back facing him. On that muddied, blood-soaked back, a wound still gushed blood. The thin figure swayed unsteadily. He thought: He's sustained such severe injuries yet still fights with such prowess using only his right hand! This man is a peerless warrior. Keeping him alive will bring endless trouble! If I don't kill him today, there may never be another chance! With this thought, he raised his blade and slashed toward Man Cheng's back.
Wei Yang screamed, "Man Cheng! Behind you—"
Man Cheng didn't turn around—truthfully, he had no strength left to turn. Instead, his heart found unexpected calm: He Mingpei, you underestimate me. I have no strength left to kill you, but I have more than enough to drag you to death with me!
At this threshold between life and death, what did he think of?
It was that small fishing village in Xiongzhou, the person who whispered softly behind him, trying to hold him back, and that gentle words that nearly melted his very consciousness—
"Man Cheng... isn't this place wonderful?"
Zhong Shan! If I had stayed back then, how wonderful that would have been! I had so many, so many chances to live a happy life with you. Why didn't I cherish them?
He Mingpei's footsteps came rushing closer with the sound of wind. Man Cheng gripped the blade in his right hand tighter, but what filled his heart was indescribable fear—
Zhong Shan, I'm suddenly so afraid! I don't want to die like this! Please come save me...
I want to see you right now! I want to hold you tight right now! I don't want to wait until the next life!
Is there really a next life? Is there?
Is there... really...?
If there isn't, what should I do? Where can I find you?
Suddenly, the sound of hurried footsteps came from the distance, followed by a shouted warning: "He Er, watch out for him—"
Man Cheng startled—it was Fang Guangda's voice!
He Mingpei couldn't retract his blade in time. The person had already charged toward Man Cheng. In the darkness, blade light flashed. He Mingpei's blade descended toward Man Cheng's crown as Man Cheng turned and swept his blade horizontally toward He Mingpei's face. But suddenly, a figure swayed into view, a person in golden armor猛地 blocking between these two weapons.
That damnable Fang Guangda!
Man Cheng gathered every ounce of strength in his body. This strike was swift and merciless, its force carrying the whistling wind. It hacked through the armor on that person's back, and thick, viscous blood sprayed all over Man Cheng in an instant.
The figure collapsed.
He Mingpei had already recognized the newcomer. He retreated several steps. Fang Guangda rushed over to He Mingpei's side, staring in shock at the body lying on the ground. He murmured, "General Cheng..."
Man Cheng was struck like by lightning. The world spun around him. He ignored the enemy still bearing weapons before him—he didn't know where the strength came from—but he threw down the blade in his right hand and desperately lunged forward to embrace Zhong Shan.
"Zhong Shan!"
For so many years, that blade had been like part of his own body. And now, for the first time, Man Cheng hated that blade so deeply!
"Zhong Shan!" He knelt beside Zhong Shan, his body and heart both shattered, no longer feeling his own excruciating pain.
He held Zhong Shan close and called again: "Zhong Shan!" He knew precisely the force behind his own strike. Zhong Shan absolutely could not survive this!
"Zhong Shan!" Another call, and tears came rushing out, falling onto Zhong Shan's face, washing away the bloodstains...
"Zhong Shan!" Man Cheng was at a loss, frantically stroking Zhong Shan's face.
Zhong Shan gathered the last of his strength, raised his hand, and gently gripped Man Cheng's trembling fingers. His familiar, gentle smile remained. "Man Cheng..."
Blood, gurgling endlessly, soaking ceaselessly into the thick grass and the earth beneath.
Man Cheng responded softly, leaning his face close to Zhong Shan's. He could feel Zhong Shan's breath growing fainter, his hand gripping Man Cheng's loosening by the moment. Man Cheng pulled back his fingers only to grip Zhong Shan's limp hand tightly. He called out deeply: "Zhong Shan! Zhong Shan..."
"Man Cheng..." His eyes reddened, love overflowing, yet he could not speak the words.
"Zhong Shan! Don't die! I'll promise you anything! Please, please don't die..." Man Cheng was overcome with anguish and regret. Tears like blood surged forth, soaking Zhong Shan's face.
"Fool. You're lying to me again. I..." Zhong Shan's breath faded as he gazed at Man Cheng. His eyes gradually lost focus. He tried to say one more word: "I..." A mouthful of blood surged up his throat, and no more words could escape.
Man Cheng, how much I love you—without my saying it, you know. If I were Zhang Zhou, I would never give you up, even if it meant abandoning all vanity, pride, ambition, desire. If I were him, without you having to beg and plead, I would have taken you far away long ago. I wouldn't let anyone else see your glistening tears, wouldn't let anyone else hear your pure voice. I would want everything about you to belong to me! But why am I not him? How I envy him!
Every embrace, every kiss, I've been afraid it would be the last! Because this day, this blade—I foresaw it long ago! But I couldn't escape it!
How could it be possible not to love you?
Man Cheng, I love you! I've loved you to madness! By your side, I'm living in agony. But away from you, I cannot breathe!
At last... I've found release...
You... don't cry, okay... When I see your tears, I suddenly can't bear to die. I want to keep loving you. I want to love you forever!
Unfortunately... it's no longer up to me...
I'm sorry, Man Cheng. I promised to go to that world with you. But I'm going there first.
Man Cheng... I want to see you again! I can still hear you calling my name, so why can't I see you anymore...
"Zhong Shan! I do love you! I..." Man Cheng choked out these words, but saw Zhong Shan's eyes gently close.
"Zhong Shan?" Man Cheng held Zhong Shan's face desperately, wiping away the tears falling onto his face again and again. He could feel Zhong Shan's life slipping away in his hands. No matter how his heart was being torn apart, he could not grasp that life!
Zhong Shan...
What can I do to bring you back...
What ferocious beast has suddenly sunk its teeth into my soul, ruthlessly snatching away the last glimmer of hope deep within, leaving only endless emptiness and bitter cold...
For all these years, the one who risked his life to protect me, the one I wounded both in body and heart, the one who gave me everything I demanded...
His love was like potent wine, rich and fragrant. How could I possibly ignore it?
Man Cheng held him so tightly. Zhong Shan's name caught in his throat, and not a single sound could escape his lips.
Fang Guangda and He Mingpei watched夏满城 weep so heartbreakingly, momentarily stunned into silence. Suddenly, Fang Guangda came to his senses: This夏满城 is now unarmed and completely defenseless! How could they miss such a perfect opportunity? He raised his blade to strike, but He Mingpei stopped him.
He Mingpei sighed heavily, gazing down at Man Cheng with pity. "That day when you were struck by the poisoned arrow, Commander Cheng came to my camp intending to surrender. I asked what he wanted in return. He said he only wanted the antidote for you."
The words entered his ears, the pain pierced his heart.
Man Cheng's lips trembled, but try as he might, he could not speak the name he had called every single day.
Tears, endlessly, hollowed out his entire being.
"Go... 夏满城, I won't kill you today! You've fallen into my hands three times, and I've spared you every time. If we meet again, you will surely die!" He Mingpei felt deep sorrow over Commander Cheng's death. Seeing Man Cheng weeping as if he'd lost his mind, his heart softened. "I'll take care of Commander Cheng's remains. Go, run for your life!" He stepped forward.
Before he could get close, Man Cheng shouted, "Don't touch him!" He Mingpei startled. The tears that flowed mightily had washed away the killing intent in Man Cheng's eyes. His gaze was shattered like after a catastrophe. "You can't... take him away..."
Man Cheng's will was completely extinguished. The name Zhong Shan—he couldn't even bear to speak it anymore!
He Mingpei could only stop in his tracks, staring blankly: What kind of person is this夏满城? Is he that bloodthirsty demon on the battlefield, or this frail, pitiful creature before me now? Yuan Liao Wang abandoned Pingbei City for his sake. Cheng Zhong Shan risked his life for him! He Mingpei simply couldn't understand. He watched Man Cheng lean close to Zhong Shan's ear and murmur something. He Mingpei couldn't hear a word, nor did he want to. He signaled to Guangda with his eyes, and both of them disappeared into the dense forest without looking back.
No one heard what Man Cheng was saying. Perhaps only Zhong Shan could hear.
Love often only allows people to achieve enlightenment after they've lost it, filled with regret for the past.
The happiness that could have been grasped seemed to have existed just a second ago. But in the blink of an eye, the verdict of life and death had been sealed—separated by the boundary between yin and yang.