Chapter 36: The Cause – A Paradise
Xiongzhou was surrounded by sea on three sides, with numerous villages scattered along the coast and countless small islands dotting the nearby waters.
A tiny nameless fishing village, home to just a dozen or so families, was in an uproar that day. Villagers who had rarely seen the outside world gathered in clusters at the beach to catch a glimpse of two extraordinary-looking strangers, all exclaiming in amazement: So outsiders could actually be as beautiful as celestial beings!
Having spent the entire day fishing at sea with the fishermen, Mancheng and Zhongshan returned to the little fishing village. It was both their first time going out to sea, and they had an absolute blast. Along the way, they passed a small island, and Mancheng scrambled up onto it in high spirits, leaping about among the lush dense forest. While Zhongshan and a few fishermen busied themselves grilling fish, they briefly took their eyes off Mancheng, who somehow managed to eat some wild berries, leaving his tongue numb and his speech slurred and unclear. Fortunately, the boat captain had picked some herbs from the island to detoxify him. But the medicine worked slowly, and by the time the evening glow slanted across the beach and the two of them reluctantly returned to the shore, Mancheng's speech had finally become fluent again.
Mancheng climbed down from the fishing boat and collapsed onto the sand, demanding water from the watching villagers. After a whole day on the sea, he had not only finished all the water Zhongshan had brought, but had also snatched and drained the water other fishermen had brought.
Simple and honest villagers, seeing his pathetic whining for water, vied with each other to hand him water. Zhongshan couldn't help but laugh. Mancheng grabbed a water bag and drank his fill, instantly regaining his energy, then jumped up and wandered leisurely along the beach, constantly turning back to talk to Zhongshan.
"What are they fixing this for? If it's broken, just throw it away." Mancheng pointed at the fishermen mending their nets and asked Zhongshan.
"How would they afford to buy new ones?"
"Just give them more silver..."
"Pfft!" Zhongshan burst out laughing.
The sunset painted the coastline crimson, shifting clouds in ever-changing forms, the sea reflecting endless transforming scenery, seagulls crying and circling low over the water.
The seawater rushed to his feet, fine sand slipping between his toes, and Mancheng laughed gleefully as he walked forward. A wave surged up, washing over his ankles, then receded, carrying away the sand beneath his feet.
Mancheng happily walked a few more steps forward and waded into the sea.
Zhongshan waded through the water, watching Mancheng bob up and down with a smile.
After splashing about for a while, Mancheng was carried back by the tide.
"Ah, ptooey..." Mancheng clung to Zhongshan with all fours, spitting out seawater, laughing with all his teeth showing. "Zhongshan! The water pushes me back!" He finished, then threw himself back into the sea.
"Oh dear..." Another wave came, pushing Mancheng back to Zhongshan's side, and the two of them collapsed laughing together.
The last trace of that magical light on the horizon was swallowed by the sky, and the vast night curtain descended.
The two of them played in the waves by the faint cold light between heaven and earth. When his hand let go, he couldn't see his beloved, but with his calls, with his laughter, he could always find him...
In the end, they would inevitably fumble through the darkness and grasp each other's hands tightly.
The night grew so deep that nothing before them could be distinguished. The villagers on the beach had all returned to the village. Mancheng lay on the silent empty sand, Zhongshan sat beside him, holding his hand.
"Zhongshan, I suddenly thought of Yang Daochun... When I first met him, my heart actually skipped a beat. I even thought: This fellow is so much better looking than Zhang Zhou."
Zhongshan laughed despite himself. "You great lecher, you heartbreaker!"
In the darkness, Mancheng's expression couldn't be seen, but in his tone was an undeniable desolation. "He was so kind to me... He asked if I'd ever seen the sea. I shook my head, and he said he would definitely take me to the seaside... Whenever I think of the words 'I love you' that he said, my heart races with fear."
The two fell silent for a long while before Mancheng's voice sounded again softly: "Zhongshan, did anyone ever tell you about the sea before?"
"My brother."
"Heh!" Mancheng asked, surprised. "You have a brother? Why didn't you ever mention him? Does he look like you?"
"You never asked, that's why. He... he looked very much like me."
"Ha ha ha ha... So there would be two Zhongshans? That's interesting!" Mancheng laughed endlessly, then asked: "Where is he now?"
"There was a famine in our hometown. They all died."
Mancheng froze. He turned onto his side and scooted closer to Zhongshan, calling out: "Zhongshan..."
"I'm here."
"Are you lonely?"
Zhongshan caressed his cheek and smiled. "I'm not lonely."
Mancheng scrambled up, fumbling in the darkness to embrace Zhongshan tightly. "Zhongshan, don't leave me. Without you, I would be so lonely."
"I won't leave you." Zhongshan held him fiercely, murmuring: "I won't leave you! Unless you don't want me anymore, no matter what you say, I won't leave you."
The ink-black sky connected to the endless sea. Rumbling thunder rolled across the heavens, and beneath that vast dome, the two of them embraced in silence. The wild wind carried seawater, stirring great waves, and their hearts felt as heavy and suffocating as the moments before a summer storm, yet also yearning for something.
Without love, how could one feel this way?
A faint light approached. Mancheng squinted, adapting to the lantern light, and saw a little girl, about seven or eight years old, holding a candle in one hand and straining to carry a large wooden bucket in the other. She was the daughter of the boat captain who had taken them out to sea that day.
"My father says it's going to rain soon. Since you have nowhere to stay, go to the little wooden cabin at the foot of the cliff." The little girl pointed to a dark, hazy stretch of cliff slope nearby, showing her two little tiger teeth as she smiled innocently. "There's firewood there. You can start a fire and shelter from the rain."
Zhongshan patted her head and smiled kindly. "Got it. Thank you."
The little girl set the bucket down on the sand. "My father told me to bring this. He said you two eat a lot, so he doesn't know if it'll be enough."
Mancheng peeked into the bucket and found it was more than half full of crabs. "Heh..." Now he beamed with joy.
Zhongshan took out a small gold ingot from his breast pocket and pressed it into the little girl's hand. "Take this back to your father."
The girl hadn't intended to take anything. She opened her palm, looking confused. How many people in this village had ever seen gold? She herself had rarely even seen copper coins. How could she know that this small heavy piece of shiny metal could keep her family comfortable for several years?
"Hurry back! It's going to rain any moment now." Zhongshan gently patted her back.
The little girl nodded and turned back toward the village.
The two of them felt their way to the small wooden cabin huddled in a corner of the cliff slope. Pushing the door open, they were greeted by a faint musty smell.
Zhongshan lit a fire. The walls, weathered by wind and rain, had a few abandoned fishing nets hanging on them. The corners were gnawed by ants and eaten by insects, with much of the surface peeling away. It seemed someone had lived here not too long ago – the wooden floor wasn't dirty, just covered in a layer of dust.
Mancheng plopped down on the floor, urging Zhongshan to cook the crabs quickly.
Soon, billowing steam filled the small cabin. The aroma of crabs mingled with the damp vapor, filling this tiny space.
Outside, thunder cracked loudly. A driving rain poured down in sheets, and the great sea churned violently, as if it would sweep this little cabin away into the endless darkness.
*Crunch crunch*... Mancheng tore the crabs apart piece by piece, scattering shells everywhere, exclaiming: "Mmm mmm, delicious!"
Zhongshan ate while teasing Mancheng about his eating habits.
Suddenly, Mancheng let out a "Hmm" and frowned, tossing the crab claw in his hand aside.
"What's wrong?" Zhongshan moved closer, and saw a bead of blood appear on Mancheng's lower lip. Zhongshan laughed. "You got pricked, didn't you? Who told you to eat so hastily? Serves you right!" He said, using his finger to wipe away the blood, rubbing it. "Pain pain, fly away."
"Ha ha ha ha... That's too funny!" Mancheng, ignoring the sting on his lip, burst out laughing so hard he nearly fell over. "I was wondering where Mandu learned this trick! So this is how you哄him, is it? Ha ha ha..."
"Don't laugh, it's bleeding again." Zhongshan held back his laughter, cradling Mancheng's chin and gently stroking his lip with his fingertip.
Mancheng gazed at Zhongshan's face, his heart racing: When did this cunning little thief develop such a mature, sensual aura? By the flickering firelight, his face full of tenderness, his deep eyes hazy and graceful with affection. He was so gentle, so considerate. Who could claim him exclusively and wouldn't that person be blessed beyond measure?
"Does it still hurt?" Zhongshan smiled faintly, his fingertip still resting on Mancheng's lip.
Mancheng suddenly realized: That blessed person, wasn't it himself?
"Zhongshan..."
"Hm?"
Mancheng felt his blood surge. He lunged forward and grabbed Zhongshan's face, greedily sucking and biting his thick, soft lips.
Zhongshan responded passionately, pinning Mancheng down onto the floor covered with damp air. "Mancheng..." Zhongshan called out, his hand already stroking his waist. There was no cold blade there – what his fingertips touched was smooth skin, eagerly probing deeper...
The sky hung low, the earth trembled slightly. The sea's roar outside, like countless beasts howling and bellowing, seemed as if it were nothing.
Zhongshan gazed down at Mancheng beneath him, that expression of his – half in paradise, half in death – and didn't know whether to feel gratified or grieved.
If only I could be like the beasts. They seek pleasure and leave behind no trace of emotion. Yet I must be obsessed with this ironhearted person! Must lose myself for this cold-blooded person!
Why?
What am I doing, for him?
Zhongshan, drenched in sweat, collapsed onto Mancheng, breathing heavily. "Mancheng..."
Mancheng responded, lifting his hand to embrace him tightly.
"Mancheng... What do you think of Shen Mu?"
"..."
"I want to... marry her."
"..."
"Mancheng, we're not young anymore. Why don't you also..."
Mancheng bit down hard on Zhongshan's shoulder.
Zhongshan hissed in pain, but didn't push him away. Instead, he held him even tighter.
"I won't allow it!" Mancheng released his bite, his expression fierce and vicious. "If you go to make a betrothal proposal, I'll kill her."
The bite left a deep mark on Zhongshan's shoulder, blood seeping through, yet it hadn't awakened him. His passions surged again, and he embraced Mancheng through several more rounds of passionate lovemaking.
"Zhongshan..." Mancheng gasped, writhing beneath him, calling his name over and over.
Zhongshan raised his head, blindly gazing at the dim, hazy ceiling. Listening to Mancheng's calls, his soul drifted away.
The wild wind and thunder completely erased the unrestrained moans and calls from this little cabin, yet the waves on the sea somehow gradually calmed. The storm was finally letting up.
The candle burned down to nothing, and the cabin grew darker still. The flame licking the bottom of the pot also weakened, yet still made its tiny *pop crackle* sounds.
Two thoroughly exhausted people now lay quietly in each other's arms. Heavy breathing gradually eased, racing pulses slowly steadied. Frantic desire anchored and beached, gently melting into tenderness that wound around their fingers. The two of them, like a pair of lovers in the heat of romance, leaned their heads together whispering softly, feeling that whatever the other said sounded so beautiful, so delightful.
Zhongshan, not yet satisfied, frequently brushed his lips against Mancheng's eyelashes, cheek, and lips.
"Does it still hurt?" Zhongshan let his lips linger on Mancheng's lower lip that had been pricked, gently kissing and nibbling.
"I'd forgotten all about it."
"Played all day. Are you tired?"
"I wasn't tired before, but after you tired me out, I'm dead!"
Zhongshan laughed. "That's so unfair! You wanted the pleasure but were too lazy to move. I'm the one who's exhausted, okay?"
Mancheng giggled, latching onto Zhongshan's lips and kissing him endlessly.
"Your tongue's flexible again, huh?" Zhongshan suddenly remembered Mancheng's slurred speech after he'd eaten those wild berries, and teased him: "Hehe... zhe zhe zhe du dao yu du du du..."
Mancheng burst out laughing again, nearly choking. "You've been imitating me all day! So fond of mimicking, why don't you try those berries yourself?"
"Hehe..."
"Stop laughing!"
"You're so adorably amazing!" Zhongshan laughed without stopping. "I actually wish that fruit had no antidote. I'd love it if you talked like that forever – that would be hilarious! Hehehe..."
Mancheng glared. "Hilarious my ass! If I really talked with a lisp, you wouldn't even want to talk to me!"
"If you really talked like that forever, wouldn't I die laughing at you? How could I not talk to you? I'd spend every day making you talk just to kill myself laughing! Ha ha ha ha..." Then, Zhongshan slightly restrained his laughter and said seriously: "Besides, no matter what happens to you, I'm going to stick to you like glue."
Mancheng contemptuously curled his lips. "What if my face is covered with scars?"
"I still want to see your bright, sparkling big eyes."
"What if I go blind?"
"I'll dig out my own eyes to give to you."
Mancheng shifted half an inch closer, gently breathing warm air onto his lips. "Then you wouldn't be able to see me, you idiot."
Zhongshan laughed. "You're the idiot..."
"Zhongshan, listen. The sea is clearly so far away. Why does it feel like it's right under my ears?" Mancheng pressed his cheek to the floor and closed his eyes.
"Zhongshan, listen – it sounds like it's calling someone..."
Mancheng turned his body over, his back against Zhongshan's chest.
Zhongshan's hand slid down his arm and firmly grasped his hand.
Mancheng contentedly curled up in Zhongshan's embrace. Without needing to say more, Zhongshan would maintain this position that Mancheng loved best, holding him as he drifted into sleep.
The waves seemed to be right beneath his ears, whoosh... whoosh... surging peacefully and gently.
What a beautiful place this was! No killing, no blood – there was only this quiet space, and the person behind him who belonged only to me.
Mancheng suddenly remembered something and opened his eyes. "Zhongshan, you're not allowed to propose to Shen Mu, got it?"
"Then who do you want me to marry? I'll do whatever you say." Zhongshan chuckled secretly.
Mancheng flew into a rage. "You can't marry anyone! If you want a woman, go to a brothel, but you're not allowed to get married!"
Zhongshan was secretly overjoyed: This kid is jealous!
"Damn it, Zhongshan! Are you listening?"
"Alright, alright, I'll devote myself to you with all my heart. Satisfied?" Zhongshan gently kissed his shoulder after the sweat had dried, murmuring tenderly: "Let me have no descendants. For you, I'm willing..."
Let me become an unfilial son for you. Let me become a demon god for you. Let me destroy myself for you – I'm willing.
The person in his arms trembled slightly.
Why did these words sound so familiar?
Mancheng's eyes flew open – what had suddenly intruded upon his mind? What had suddenly disturbed his peace?
I remember now. He said these words too!
How could I... have happily forgotten about him? He's still on the dragon throne in Yuanliao City, waiting for me, longing for me.
A woman to share with him – what kind of person would she be? Gentle and delicate, or plump and lovely? Would that woman steal his heart away from me? When he has children, will he still care about me?
Tonight, is he standing on the balcony of the side hall in Yaoji Palace, gazing toward Xiongzhou, missing me all night?
Zhang Zhou!
That name – carved into his heart, branded into his soul!
"Mancheng..." the person behind him gently asked: "Isn't this place wonderful?"
"Yes..."
"Then let's... stay here for a few more days... okay?" The voice behind him was so tender it nearly melted his senses.
"Mancheng..." Zhongshan called again.
But the person in his arms – this person who had been wounded by love – went rigid all over, and bitter words escaped his lips--
"I... miss him."
The moment those words were spoken, Mancheng felt the arms that held him loosen slightly. The person behind him fell utterly silent.
Mancheng's eyes suddenly burned.
Zhongshan, what expression are you wearing right now? How agonizing, how disappointed you must be.
I can't turn around! If I turn around and see your expression, I'll definitely soften, definitely stay. But this beautiful place – if I stay a few more days, I'll never want to leave!
Zhongshan! I want to stay! I want to spend the rest of my life hiding in this village far from slaughter and noise with you.
But if I disappear, what will happen to him?
And I can't forget him either! Every time I think of him, I desperately want to embrace him right away!
Loving one person is already so exhausting. Zhongshan, don't come and tear me apart anymore, okay?
The two of them remained frozen, locked in this stalemate. After hearing those words, Zhongshan went cold from head to toe, biting his lower lip hard so that he wouldn't tremble and alert Mancheng.
Mancheng didn't know that the expression shifting across Zhongshan's face wasn't anguish – it was despair. It wasn't disappointment – it was hopelessness!
Mancheng! You repeatedly make me hopeful with your tenderness, then crush it immediately. I don't want to be that person's substitute... but I know that even if I hold you tightly and won't let you go, I still can't keep you. There's not even a corner of your heart that's mine.
If I'm not that person's substitute, you'll leave me without hesitation and find another substitute.
What's this jealousy, anyway? It's just a stubborn child refusing to let anyone else play with a toy he likes.
Mancheng, I'm about to break! You're driving me absolutely crazy.
What should I do? What should I do?
No sighing, no pleading. The tone can't be too high, can't be too low. The pace can't be too fast, can't be too slow. I have to speak with the same tender tone as when I tried to make him stay—
"Then... let's set out back tomorrow..."
Mancheng... I really want to kill you... then die with you.