Chapter 63: No Going Back
The clouds in the sky—how could they take on so many strange shapes? This sky is so free and unrestrained, could it never know sorrow? Those birds, as long as they can fill their bellies, that's the happiest thing in the world. How simple it is!
Why can't people live freely and simply all their lives?
Zhang Zhou gazed at Man Cheng sitting on the stone bench, gazing up at the sky, as if he had traveled back through time.
My Man Cheng, just like before, with a天真柔和的脸庞 a gentle and innocent face, and 一对纯洁无瑕的眼眸 a pair of pure and spotless eyes.
There are thousands upon thousands of fun and interesting things in this world. Man Cheng, from now on, you may enjoy and play with all of them freely. I will never let you harm anyone again.
Man Cheng, I want you to return to the past. I want you to become the Man Cheng you were when we were still in Anqing.
"What are you looking at?" Man Cheng smiled and asked him. "Am I that good-looking? You've been staring like a fool?"
Zhang Zhou walked over, sat beside him, took his hand, but said nothing.
Man Cheng asked, "Why are you so gloomy? How is the war in the north?" Hearing no answer from Zhang Zhou, he continued, "Zhang Zhou, I miss my sister... If Xiangguang hadn't died, he would already be running and jumping, calling me uncle by now."
Zhang Zhou moved his lips but made no sound. Hearing Man Cheng's tone soften slightly, he said, "Zhang Zhou, if my sister hadn't wanted to escape from us, why would she have agreed to marry that old man, King Deng? I... miss her so much."
The two fell silent for a moment. Man Cheng gave a mischievous laugh. "I'll tell you something, but you'll blame me for causing trouble again."
"What is it?"
"I secretly told Zhongshan to bring my sister back, ignoring whether that bastard King Deng wants to or not..." As Man Cheng spoke, seeing Zhang Zhou's gloomy face, he quickly put on an apologetic smile and carefully asked, "Are you angry?"
Zhang Zhou pretended to complain. "You really are causing trouble. How could the堂堂 King of Deng's queen be taken back just because you want to?"
Man Cheng pouted.
Zhang Zhou's heart ached, but he still managed a smile. "Alright, as long as you're happy, causing trouble it is."
Man Cheng smiled with relief. "As long as you agree. Zhang Zhou, when my sister comes back, I'll arrange for her to marry you as a concubine, let her bear you another child..."
"Man Cheng?" Zhang Zhou was stunned and quickly interrupted. "What are you saying? Are you still resenting me for that matter?"
Man Cheng frantically shook his head. "Listen to me! Zhang Zhou, I owe my sister. She must have loved you deeply, otherwise why would she have used such dangerous medicine? She risked her life to keep your child..."
Man Cheng's face showed bitter sorrow, and he pleaded again, "Zhang Zhou, I beg you, please agree to this."
Zhang Zhou was in agonizing pain. He wanted to explain impulsively, but the words stopped at his lips and he swallowed them back.
Forget it. Jinyin can never come back. Why bother explaining the past?
With this thought, Zhang Zhou forced a bitter smile and nodded in agreement.
But Man Cheng didn't know whether it was relief and joy, or loss and desolation. A thousand feelings, ten thousand emotions, surged into his heart, and his eyes instantly turned red.
How could Zhang Zhou not know the turmoil of suffering in his heart? But besides pulling him into his arms, what else could he do to comfort him? The person in his arms was so fragile, so vulnerable, and said in a trembling voice, "Zhang Zhou, I envy my sister. And Weiyang. They only need to love you with their bodies. But it's not enough for me. My body is not enough."
Zhang Zhou smiled. "Your body satisfies me completely. What else could you possibly need?"
Man Cheng frowned. "You know that's not what I mean. Zhang Zhou, in the next life, I'll be a woman... Zhang Zhou, in the next life, I'll bear you children. I'll repay everything I owe you."
"You fool! What do you owe me? I owe you. I don't know how I could ever repay you enough..." Zhang Zhou was overwhelmed with grief, tightened his arms, and said, "In the future, I'll cherish you deeply, give you my whole heart... If I can't repay you in this life, I'll do it in the next..." Having said this, he suddenly grinned. "But if you're still so flirtatious and wild in the next life after becoming a woman, I can't handle that."
Man Cheng broke into laughter through tears. "As long as you stay with me every day from now on, why would I go looking for anyone else?" Saying this, he suddenly stopped his playfulness, thinking of someone—
Zhongshan!
A flash of jealousy crossed Zhang Zhou's eyes, and he didn't hide it at all. "Man Cheng! Are you concerned about the war in the north or Zhongshan's safety?" Hearing no answer from Man Cheng, Zhang Zhou sighed. "Man Cheng, I'm jealous."
Man Cheng wanted to explain. He said several "I" in a row but didn't know how to continue. Seeing Zhang Zhou's darkened expression, Man Cheng was so anxious he was about to cry again.
Zhang Zhou glanced at Man Cheng's wrist. The Buddhist beads he never took off—ever since Cheng Zhongshan came last time, they had disappeared. Zhang Zhou sighed again, this time a long, lost sigh. "Man Cheng, I don't blame you. If you want to continue like this with him, fine. It's no problem. Just... I beg you, don't give your heart to him."
Man Cheng frantically shook his head, then frantically nodded.
Zhang Zhou continued, "Man Cheng, I'm sorry. Back then, I was the one who first asked your uncle-in-law for Xianyou's hand in marriage. I'm sorry. I was jealous of her. I was afraid she would take you away from me! Man Cheng! I was the one who secretly pushed you. But I swear, I only wanted to pull her away from you. I never imagined you would kill her! Man Cheng, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was too selfish! I... I just wanted you all to myself."
These words struck like five thunderbolts. Man Cheng was stunned for a moment. The warm, happy scenes from when Yingyou accompanied him in the Eastzhou palace all replayed in his mind!
The only person in the Eastzhou palace who understood my pain, the one who comforted me, who shared my tears.
The one I once looked up to with longing, the one who could have changed my destiny!
She would never come back!
Yingyou! It wasn't you who pushed me to the brink—it was I who pushed you to the brink!
Yingyou!
Man Cheng suddenly covered his face, tears streaming down without end.
Yingyou! For the past few years, I've been searching for you everywhere! Women who use the same incense as you! Women who have the same smile as you!
I've searched everywhere for you, but I couldn't find you anywhere!
Yingyou! You're dead, and the weak version of me died with you!
"I'm sorry! Man Cheng!" Zhang Zhou was overwhelmed with guilt, holding him and apologizing repeatedly.
Man Cheng, choking with sobs, tremblingly voiced the words he'd kept bottled up for almost a decade: "Yingyou... I didn't push her. Zhang Zhou, do you believe me?"
Zhang Zhou looked into his eyes, at that look of hope and trust, and nodded repeatedly. "I believe!"
This single "I believe" was like a transformation for Man Cheng, lifting a weight from his shoulders. He desperately wanted to immediately clear away all these years of misunderstanding with Zhang Zhou, and he said again, "Xiangguang wasn't killed by me either. Do you believe me?"
Zhang Zhou's eyes instantly turned red, and he said solemnly, "I believe!"
Man Cheng, over these years, how many times have I doubted you? Yet you always believed every word I said without question.
I'm not human! You believed my every promise unconditionally, yet I repeatedly broke my word.
I swear with my life—this time's promise, I will keep!
Man Cheng, I want you to return to the past. I want you to become the Man Cheng you were when we were still in Anqing.
Huo An approached Man Cheng's courtyard and, from far away, knelt outside the archway to bow in greeting.
"Oh! Commander Huo," Man Cheng saw him coming and stood up, with a faint smile. "You got promoted. I never had the chance to congratulate you."
These words entered Huo An's ears, piercing coldly and making his whole body shudder. He hastily kowtowed and begged, "General Xia, spare my life! General Xia, spare my life!"
Man Cheng was startled. His smile froze on his face for a moment, then faded. His tone was no longer gentle. What he calmly said carried a bone-chilling chill that swept over Huo An. "Oh... I remember now. Last time, when Zhang Zhou put me under house arrest, it was you who carried it out... Commander Huo, you've worked hard."
Huo An kept his head lowered, kneeling, cold sweat pouring down.
"Come here." Man Cheng sat down again.
Huo An's whole body trembled even more violently. He barely managed to crawl forward on his knees.
"You don't need to be afraid. I want to ask you some things. You were just following Zhang Zhou's orders. I don't blame you." As Man Cheng spoke, he lifted the ginseng tea on the table and took a sip, then said, "However, if Zhang Zhou finds out about today's meeting with you..." He lowered his voice on the last sentence. "That wouldn't be good."
Huo An nodded repeatedly. "Please rest assured, General. I will tell you everything I know! I will never let His Majesty know."
Man Cheng made a "hmm" sound and asked, "How is the war in the north?"
Huo An raised his head, opened his mouth wide, and looked at Man Cheng's pale face with disbelief. "Ah? What does General mean?"
Man Cheng slammed his palm on the table and shouted angrily, "What do you mean 'what does it mean'? How are the reinforcements heading to Dongzhou? What about Dongzhou? How are the Weizhen troops in the Deng kingdom?" Suddenly, Man Cheng softened his tone. "...How is—Cheng, General Cheng?"
Huo An, like a bird startled by a bow, spoke in a panic, "This... this... General, the entire Dongzhou has been occupied by the Yongzhao army. General Chang has retreated to Gangshouxia. General Cheng led the Weizhen army to Anqing much earlier. As for the Deng kingdom..." Huo An suddenly stopped, too terrified to continue speaking.
As Man Cheng listened, his heart sank, sank deeper. A heavy, suffocating feeling in his chest couldn't be expelled, couldn't be suppressed. After a long while, he finally managed to speak more calmly, "What about the Deng kingdom?"
"The Deng kingdom..." Huo An said quietly, "General, while you were still unconscious, the Deng kingdom had already fallen. General Cheng rushed over but it was too late to save anyone. He could only defend Anqing..."
Man Cheng's eyes widened. "What about my sister?"
"This... this... The Deng king fled the palace and his whereabouts are unknown. Princess Jinyin was pregnant and couldn't move easily..."
Man Cheng roared, "What happened to my sister?"
"Prin, Princess... she hanged herself..."
All the strength drained from Man Cheng's body. He felt the world spinning around him. He coughed a few times and vomited blood.
"General!" Huo An was terrified out of his wits and hastily supported him.
"Don't call anyone!" Man Cheng gripped his wrist tightly. After saying this, he continued coughing without end. Huo An didn't know what to do. Calling someone wasn't right, not calling wasn't right either.
Man Cheng clenched his fist. His delicate brows knotted with boundless pain. He closed his eyes, and tears diluted the thick blood on his lips...
In the mourning hall for Man Du, someone was crying.
Deep, heartfelt sorrow lingered in the mourning hall, lingering endlessly...
Zhang Zhou unwrapped the bandage from Man Cheng's shoulder and examined the wound with downcast eyes. Seeing the healing was progressing well, he smiled. "Don't scratch it. If it itches, tell me and I'll help rub it for you."
Man Cheng obediently responded, "Okay."
Zhang Zhou carefully sprinkled medicinal powder on the wound, then wrapped layer upon layer of new bandages. Gently he asked, "Is it too tight?"
"No." Man Cheng tilted his head, watching the meticulous Zhang Zhou busying himself. The intoxicated expression on his face was completely visible.
After Zhang Zhou finished wrapping the bandages, he gently kissed Man Cheng's shoulder and said心疼ly, "You're getting thinner and thinner..."
Man Cheng complained, "It's so cold!"
"Why didn't you say so earlier!" Zhang Zhou hastily wrapped his arm around Man Cheng's bare shoulder. "Look at you, all bones. I'm going to feed you until you're as chubby as before."
"Hmph! When was I ever chubby?"
"When you were a child. You were still dragging snot around then."
"That was so long ago!" Man Cheng shifted forward, hugged Zhang Zhou tightly, and asked playfully, "You still remember such a small thing?"
"How could it be small? You were seven or eight years old and still playing with your snot. Every time I looked away, you'd eat the snot."
"Hahaha..." Man Cheng burst into laughter.
Zhang Zhou also laughed. "You dare laugh? When you were十几, you were still dragging snot and rolling around in my arms, getting it all over me."
"That's unreasonable! You wanted to hold me yourself!" Man Cheng exclaimed dramatically, then leaned over and gnawed Zhang Zhou's face, pressing him down and laughing endlessly as he lay on top of him.
Zhang Zhou laughed while gently stroking the bandage on Man Cheng's shoulder, calling out tenderly, "Man Cheng..."
"I'm right here..."
"I love you so much..."
"...I love you too..."
"Man Cheng, let's go back to the life we had in Anqing. I'll be with you every day... From now on, I'll cherish you and love you for a lifetime..."
Man Cheng happily lifted the corner of his mouth, revealing a longing smile.
"Man Cheng..." Zhang Zhou asked slowly, "Are you tired of staying in the courtyard? Don't be impatient. In a few days, I'll take you out for some fresh air."
"I'm not going anywhere. You can keep me under house arrest for the rest of my life." Man Cheng's eyes showed a subtle contradiction and endless bitterness and sorrow. He closed his eyes, and on his eyelashes gathered crystalline, shimmering mist.
The nation was on full alert. All troops and forces were gathered under Yuanliao Wang's command, poised for action. Only that elite unit of the Weizhen army refused to obey orders. No matter how Peng Hong tried to persuade them kindly, the young and proud deputy commander remained stubborn and unyielding. Peng Hong could endure no more and slammed the table as he shouted, "Wei Sihu! I think you've grown a tiger's heart and leopard's胆! You dare disobey the King's orders!"
Sihu remained silent, head bowed, accepting the reprimand.
"Wei Sihu! You will immediately hand over military command to me!"
An unyielding reply: "Please forgive me, Your Highness. This Sihu cannot comply."
"Are you done or not? Are you trying to rebel?" Peng Hong was helpless and roared, "Man Cheng will never go into battle again! Do you think he can still protect you?"
"In response to Your Highness, General gave orders yesterday for the troops to remain ready and not obey anyone else's commands."
Peng Hong was stunned. "What did you say? When?"
"Yesterday." Sihu was completely certain.
"Nonsense!" Peng Hong cursed, "Man Cheng has never left Zhongbi Manor..."
The tent curtain was lifted. Man Cheng, dressed in bright red military attire, stood before them. His spirit was spirited and sharp. A hint of an overbearing smile played at the corner of his lips. "I heard Your Highness yelling in my camp from a distance. What's the matter? Did my men offend Your Highness?"
Peng Hong was too stunned to speak.
Sihu exclaimed joyfully, "General! Your injuries..."
"Almost completely healed." Man Cheng walked over and patted Sihu's shoulder. His voice was deep, cold, yet calm. "Sihu, long time no see."
"Man Cheng!" Peng Hong frantically grabbed him, doubt written all over his face. "What are you doing? Does Zhang Zhou know you've come out?"
"Sihu, depart immediately!" Man Cheng uttered these words, and a hint of gentleness appeared on his face. He slowly said, "Peng Hong, please convey a message to Zhang Zhou. Tell him I'll be back as soon as I've killed He Mingpei."