# Chapter 27: Heartbreak
Fang Guangda led the Yongzhao army to seize vast territories of Yaojiang, and his power continued to grow. Countless Yaojiang generals led their forces to surrender to Yongzhao, and the Yao King, driven to desperation, submitted and acknowledged Yongzhao's supremacy.
The Yuanliao army readied itself, gathering large forces to march toward the Kingdom of Deng.
Zhongbi Manor remained desolate as ever. The master forbade the removal of the white silk and black brocade that draped every house and covered every surface. The tables and benches in the garden, even the leaves, were covered in ash from paper money long unwiped, adding to the overwhelmingly mournful atmosphere.
Lanxing carried dishes out from the courtyard of Mancheng, when she collided with Zhong Shan. She hastily lowered her voice: "General Cheng, the Queen Mother is inside..."
Zhong Shan understood, stopped in his tracks, and asked: "Last time, Physician Xie from the Ruyi West Palace came and prescribed him several doses of medicine. Did he take them?"
Lanxing furrowed her delicate brows. "Doctor Xie said there was nothing serious, so why would he bother taking it? Besides, he's never even at the manor, not sure where he's been sneaking off to with you..."
Zhong Shan laughed. "Don't blame me for that. If I were at Zhongbi Manor, sooner or later the Queen Mother would catch us again. Now that Her Majesty is pregnant again, if she throws a tantrum about dying, that's two lives lost—I couldn't bear that responsibility."
Lanxing forced a bitter smile.
The two of them stepped back. Lanxing sighed softly. "General Cheng, ever since the young prince died, this Zhongbi Manor has grown ever more desolate. When you're not at the manor, General Xia becomes more and more agitated,恨不得 immediately leaving this place. I see that he really can't bear to be parted from you for even a moment. Don't make him lose track of you again."
Zhong Shan chuckled self-deprecatingly. "If that were true, I'd be over the moon. You're just trying to make me feel good, aren't you, Sister Lanxing?"
Lanxing pouted. "General Cheng, please don't call me that." Then, a hint of worry crossing her face, she continued: "This time, the princess didn't come back. She must miss General Xia terribly. When the Weizhen army arrives at Deng, please be sure to accompany General Xia to the palace to see his sister."
Zhong Shan agreed. "Sure thing. I miss Sister Jinyin too. Mancheng isn't going, so I'll go."
Lanxing couldn't help but laugh. "General Cheng, you're always so unserious! Go on back now, but don't wander around. If he can't find you, he'll go crazy again."
Late into the night, the last lamp in the residence of the Commander of the Guard was extinguished, shrouded in the cold and serene silence of deep autumn. Pale moonlight spilled into the master's chamber, mingling with curling wisps of steam and mist, creating a dreamlike ambiance.
From behind the screen came murmured conversation, occasionally punctuated by laughter, then abruptly falling silent. Two people immersed in a water-filled wooden tub, embracing and kissing, lost in bliss.
Mancheng's hand wandered over Zhong Shan's skin beneath the water, constantly probing and descending.
"Mancheng... the space is too cramped here..." the other person said, yet responded with passionate intensity, seeking him with his bare body in the water.
Amidst moans, someone gasped and called out softly: "Zhong Shan..."
"..."
"Zhong Shan, you're like strong liquor—you're practically choking me to death."
"If you don't like it... I'll be gentler..."
"I... I like it..."
Hot water rippled and swelled, spilling over the wooden tub's edge, dampening the floor...
"...Zhong Shan, tomorrow when we go to Deng, we won't have to worry about Weiyang anymore."
Zhong Shan snorted with laughter. "Jinlu has advised me several times already. He told us not to be too forward in the military camp, that the soldiers' gossip is already all about us."
A hint of disappointment crossed Mancheng's face. "You think it's embarrassing?"
Zhong Shan grinned. "How isn't it embarrassing?"
Mancheng's expression darkened with anger. "If it's embarrassing, then don't associate with me!"
"Haha..." Zhong Shan couldn't help but burst out laughing. "There you go, getting angry again! You're so cute when you're angry!" Mancheng struggled in his embrace but couldn't break free. He狠狠地 bit down on Zhong Shan's shoulder. Zhong Shan endured the pain, refusing to let go, and said softly: "Mancheng, no matter how embarrassing, I'm not leaving you. If you don't mind, why should I? I'm overjoyed."
Mancheng released his bite. The tooth mark on Zhong Shan's shoulder seeped a wisp of blood, swirling in the water before dissolving away. Mancheng regretted and complained: "Why didn't you dodge?"
"If I dodged, wouldn't you be even angrier?"
Mancheng touched the bite mark he had left, then embraced Zhong Shan tightly again.
"Mancheng, I'm really afraid one day you'll pounce on me and bite my throat."
"Can't you dodge? Silly."
"Even if you bit my throat, I still wouldn't dodge."
"Hehe..."
"What are you laughing at? You vicious dog... Mancheng, do you bite everyone?"
Mancheng stopped smiling.
Zhong Shan's smile also faded.
The two held each other in silence. After a long while, Zhong Shan asked slowly: "That person... you've never been able to bring yourself to bite him, have you?"
"..."
"..."
"Zhong Shan, I miss him."
"Aren't you seeing him every day?"
Mancheng sighed softly, a long, despondent sigh. "...Since Weiyang arrived, he hasn't been intimate with me at all. It's been over half a year... How could he go so long without coming to be with me? Zhong Shan, I miss him so much! What kind of situation is this? How did I end up only being able to look at him? Zhong Shan..."
"...Yeah."
"I... I want to sleep with him. I want it so badly. What should I do?"
"..."
"Zhong Shan, what should I do?"
Zhong Shan clenched his teeth tightly, wanting to sigh but only able to suppress the heaving in his chest, carefully, in fragments, releasing the layers of anguish one by one. After an unknown length of time, he spoke slowly: "You... sneak over to Yaoji Palace. If anyone is there, find a place to hide. Wait until everyone has left. When he lies down... quietly climb into his bed... If he's afraid of people knowing you stayed the night at Yaoji Palace, just tell him... tell him you'll leave right after..."
Dead silence followed. Then Mancheng pulled away from Zhong Shan's embrace, climbed out of the bathtub, and wrapped himself in a bathrobe.
"Mancheng!" Zhong Shan grabbed Mancheng's hand, but it was to no avail.
Don't go!
Mancheng gazed at the anguished, pleading eyes of Zhong Shan beneath the moonlight, yet shook off his grasp without mercy, and said flatly: "Tomorrow we're setting out for the campaign. I desperately want to see him! I..." Mancheng couldn't finish speaking. He hastily turned away his gaze, quickly dressed, passed through the screen, and rushed out the door.
The person left behind in the room sank into the cooling water, shivering all over from the cold.
Why do I... torment myself like this?
Peng Hong watched Prime Minister Lei and the others withdraw from Yaoji Palace. Cold-faced, he said to Zhang Zhou: "The Imperial Consort asked me to pass a message to you. The palace maid you asked her to look after has been settled. You can rest easy. She sent the maid to..."
"There's no need to tell me where." Zhang Zhou cut him off, saying indifferently: "I don't want to know."
Peng Hong冷笑一声. "It seems you should have a talk with Mancheng. Take a wife or two. Stop seeking out maids for your nights."
Zhang Zhou's face showed guilt. He paced down from the high platform with hands clasped behind his back. "Peng Hong, you must be laughing at me in your heart... That woman conceived my child, rushed over all elated to tell me the news, yet I sent her away immediately without a trace of mercy... You can't possibly know how much pain I'm in."
"Enough," Peng Hong's expression softened. "I understand your difficulties. When do you plan to bring the child back?"
Zhang Zhou replied callously: "Never. Let him grow up among common folk in the city or countryside. That's better than dying in the palace."
Peng Hong was extremely displeased. "Zhang Zhou, are you really going to give away your own flesh and blood to live as a commoner for a lifetime? Which ruler in this world is as cowardly as you, unable to protect even his own woman and child!"
"I don't want to make Mancheng sad..."
Peng Hong frowned. "Then what are your plans for the future? You can't possibly not keep a single child by your side!"
Zhang Zhou's face was filled with helplessness. He spoke softly: "Having Mancheng's child is enough for me. I only hope Weiyang must give birth to a son." He walked to the balcony door of the side hall, sighing heavily. "Peng Hong, my suffering is beyond words. In the past, I always lamented why Mancheng wasn't a woman. I only thought about it, but since Weiyang arrived, this thought has grown so strong that I can't sleep night after night. The more something cannot be changed, the more it drives me to desperate pain. There are so many women in this world, yet I must love him..."
Peng Hong looked at his back with pity and persuaded: "After all these years, why can't you let it go? Mancheng has given so much for you. He's suffering too..."
"How could I not know? The moment I close my eyes, he's all I can think about. I miss him to the point of madness, but the moment I think of his body, I go cold inside. I remember ten years ago, when you and Bo He first learned about my affair with Mancheng. Your faces were full of shock and disdain. Later, after you got to know me better, you even asked me: 'Aren't you disgusted when you sleep with a man?' At that time, I only felt ashamed. But since Weiyang came... I... I truly feel disgusted. Not disgusted by him, but by myself. When I'm in bed with him, I'm clearly dying of pleasure, yet in my heart I'm still despising him for being a man. I don't want to make myself disgusted, so for this past half year I've been avoiding him..."
"Zhang Zhou, if Mancheng heard you say this, it would break his heart."
Zhang Zhou gazed out at the vast territories beyond the balcony, smiling bitterly. "I know. I feel I'm being utterly shameless. I claim I'm not disgusted by him, yet in my heart I'm thoroughly disgusted. I want to be a normal man, take a wife and have children, openly and honorably. But the person I love so desperately in this lifetime just happens to not be a woman. Every time I think of him, I feel both love and hate. I'm suffocating from holding it all in! I know this is a sickness in my heart, but I can't cure it... And he's grown more and more dominant with each passing year. I'm truly afraid of him. When I face him, I have nothing to say. I can't even imagine how I'll endure a whole lifetime like this."
Peng Hong hung his head and sighed, silent.
Zhang Zhou approached the jade railing, surveying the world with mighty eyes, yet suffering unbearable torment.
Peng Hong spoke gently: "Zhang Zhou, don't dwell on it too much. When Mancheng's child is born, perhaps things will truly change."
Zhang Zhou nodded. "I have this feeling too. I'm about to go visit Weiyang at Rongxi Garden. The physician said her fetal position is abnormal and her body is weak. She should rest quietly. Mancheng is already tired of accompanying her. She must be terribly lonely. Perhaps keeping her company with conversation will help."
Peng Hong snorted coldly. "I truly don't know if you're being magnanimous or incompetent!"
Zhang Zhou ignored him with indifference, turned, and walked out of Yaoji Palace, heading for Rongxi Garden.
The door opened gently. A figure, backlit by moonlight, walked slowly to the bedside and lay down silently.
The lingering water vapor in the room was stirred by the cool autumn breeze that slipped through the doorway, floating like gossamer across the ceiling.
After a long, long while, the person who had turned his back, using a voice so soft it was nearly inaudible, carefully asked: "Zhong Shan... are... are you asleep..."
Zhong Shan inhaled, but didn't dare to exhale readily. It took a long time before he slowly released his breath.
"Zhong Shan... Zhong Shan..."
He closed his eyes and turned to embrace Mancheng tightly.
Mancheng, you truly are heartless! After going to find someone else for pleasure and satisfaction, you actually come back to me seeking warmth. I真想把你推开，真想冲你大喊大叫，I真想...真想哭给你看啊!
Yet the person in his arms was浑身冒着虚汗, both hands ice cold.
"Mancheng, what's wrong?" Zhong Shan moved his hand from Mancheng's chest to his face, feeling the tears streaming down it.
"Mancheng, did he say he was busy again?"
"..."
"Did he say he wasn't in the mood again?"
"..."
"Did he... say something else that hurt you?"
Tears streamed endlessly from Mancheng's empty, hollow eyes.
"Mancheng..." Zhong Shan's face pressed against his damp back. Suppressing boundless desolation and sorrow, he trembled: "Mancheng, your crying is shattering my heart..."