Chapter 46: Return to the Past
Lanxing turned into the courtyard of Mancheng's residence and bowed. "General Wei."
Sihu nodded, took the porridge from Lanxing's hands, pushed open the door, and went inside. Sitting by Mancheng's bedside, he called out, "General... you... you haven't eaten anything for two days now. This will ruin your body."
Mancheng curled up in the quilt, silent.
Though Sihu was anxious, he could do nothing but sit there in a daze.
A weak voice came from inside the quilt. "When will Zhongshan return?"
Tears instantly welled up in Sihu's eyes. He said, "The Prestige Army departed from Wang County yesterday. General Cheng estimates they'll arrive in the city in another five or six days."
Mancheng said nothing more.
The warm winter sun began to grow cold after noon, and a chilling wave of cold air descended upon the vast yet lifeless Zhongbi Mansion. More than a dozen courtyards in this estate lay desolate and quiet. Even the one courtyard that once held some warmth was now deathly still.
Outside the estate, suddenly came the continuous sound of marching soldiers.
Lanxing stumbled into Mancheng's room, crying out, "General... the king's imperial guards have surrounded Zhongbi Mansion!"
Before Sihu could utter his shocked "Why..." Mancheng immediately threw off the quilt, sat up, and stared with bloodshot, tear-filled eyes at the doorway.
"General!" Lanxing stamped her foot. "What on earth has the king done?!"
Mancheng's expression darkened. He grabbed a pair of broad swords from the table and rushed toward the door.
Countless imperial guards were densely packed in layers upon layers outside Zhongbi Mansion, forming ranks. In front were rows of black mass archers, and behind them, ax-wielding soldiers with upright spears stretched endlessly into the distance.
Mancheng pushed open the door and stood at the threshold. All the imperial guards were poised for action, and thousands of blades pointed squarely at him.
Mancheng's legs went weak. He steadied himself against the doorframe to keep from falling to his knees, but his body had already stumbled back a step.
Huo An, the imperial army instructor, stood outside the outermost ring of guards and declared loudly, "The men of the Prestige Army and the guards of the Ruyi Palace have engaged in a brawl, disturbing His Majesty. They deserve death! Currently, Tai Qingduan and Ouyang Na have been executed on the spot. The commanding general condoned his subordinates' crimes and shall be punished accordingly. He is forbidden to leave Zhongbi Mansion by even one step! Please, General, do not act rashly."
Sihu was greatly shocked. "Tai Qingduan actually..."
Mancheng's pale lips quivered. He said nothing, but his eyes blazed with a fierce light: What a joke! Does he think this handful of imperial guards can trap me?
A sound of armor clashing and rushing footsteps shook the ground. Gao Xuan led over ten thousand men of the Prestige Army, swift as thunder, and surrounded the imperial guards completely, their killing intent palpable.
Huo An shouted furiously, "Are you rebelling?!"
Gao Xuan冷笑一声 said coldly, "The Prestige Army only serves General Xia. Where is there any rebellion?"
Cold sweat broke out over Huo An.
The two armies faced each other, blades drawn, tension at its peak.
A smile curved Mancheng's lips. Slowly, he began to draw his blade, inch by inch from its sheath.
"General Xia! You..." Huo An howled. "All troops, on alert!"
Mancheng drew his blade fully, raised it high, pointing at the imperial army. Word by word, through gritted teeth, he said, "Leave no one..."
"Mancheng! Don't do anything rash!" With this shout, Peng Hong arrived on horseback. The imperial guards hastily made way. Mancheng suddenly came to his senses. The blade in his hand clattered to the ground. Peng Hong dismounted and rushed straight to Mancheng, dragging him by the arm back into the courtyard.
"Peng Hong!" Mancheng, like a child who had been wronged suddenly finding the protection of an elder brother, burst into tears. "I want to see Zhangzhou! I want to see Zhangzhou!"
Peng Hong lowered his voice, asking urgently, "Mancheng, did you send Tai Qingduan to assassinate Zhangzhou? Did you or not?"
Mancheng froze, forgetting to speak.
Peng Hong asked again, "Did you or not?"
Mancheng trembled all over, stuttering, "N-no... no, of course not... I would never... I didn't, I..."
"Alright, alright!" Just looking at his expression told Peng Hong everything. He quickly urged, "These next few days, just stay乖乖地 here. Wait until Zhangzhou's anger subsides..."
Mancheng felt dizzy. Trembling, he asked, "He... he thinks I want to kill him?"
Peng Hong looked at him with pity and said nothing.
Mancheng suddenly rushed toward the door as if mad, shouting, "I have to see him, I have to—"
Peng Hong hastily grabbed him tightly, his voice hoarse. "Mancheng! If you force your way out now, it's treason and rebellion. It'll be over between you two! You'll have no turning back! Calm down, just calm down..."
Mancheng struggled uselessly in his arms, then finally sank to his knees. "Zhangzhou..." He breathed out the name and felt all the cold in the world seep into his bones, a sharp, unbearable pain.
What was it that I remembered?
That blissful youth, which even now feels like an unbelievable dream when I look back—did it ever truly exist?
Yes, it did!
Every detail about that person is still so crystal clear in my mind!
Is this lifetime of love and companionship, something that can never be erased from my memory, truly at an end?
Is this lifetime of service and devotion, truly at an end?
Whose fault is it? My own fault! I was too stubborn, too infatuated! I was too wild, too unreasonable!
I curse myself for not being a woman. I curse that I cannot give him anything.
What I offer, he doesn't want. All he wants is an ordinary woman, so he can live openly and honorably, so she can bear him heirs.
That's exactly what I cannot give him.
It's over. I owe him everything.
After a long while, Mancheng lowered his voice, sobbing and gasping for breath. He said slowly, "Sihu, no matter what happens, without my order, the Prestige Army is not to take any action. Those who disobey will be executed along with their entire families."
**The Cause**
"Ruyiguang—Ruyiguang—"
Throughout the darkened Ruyi Palace could be heard Jinyin's mournful wail: "Ruyiguang—"
Zhangzhou rushed into Jinyin's room, only to see her clutching Ruyiguang's tiny body, crying and screaming his name as if possessed. He stepped forward and touched the child—Ruyiguang had already stopped breathing!
Zhangzhou's mind went completely blank. His legs nearly buckled beneath him, and he could barely stand.
Mancheng?
Zhangzhou steadied himself and said to Lanxing, "Go get Peng Hong!"
He turned around to see Man Du following Houpu rushing in. Watching Jinyin, he cried out, "Sister, what happened? What happened? What's wrong with Ruyiguang?"
Jinyin gave no answer. Her sobs were tearing her apart. She slid down against the wall, collapsing to the floor. Zhangzhou caught her while she was falling, then shouted urgently, "Houpu, take Man Du out quickly!"
Ignoring Man Du's cries, Houpu dragged him out the door. "Brother," Man Du's wailing came from outside the door: "What's wrong with Ruyiguang? What's wrong with sister? Brother? Brother?"
Mancheng?
Zhangzhou turned to see Mancheng running in from the doorway. The man stood in a panic about a meter away, his tear-reddened eyes wide with terror as he looked at Zhangzhou holding Jinyin who had fainted. He stumbled over his words: "Wh-what happened? What's wrong with Ruyiguang?"
"You!" Zhangzhou roared. "How could you do this!"
The bundle that Jinyin clutched so tightly held Ruyiguang, who was clearly already dead. Mancheng stared at that small face that had turned purple. Suddenly, Zhangzhou's roar struck him like a physical blow, and his soul seemed to leave his body. Unconsciously, he murmured, "It wasn't me."
Zhangzhou fixed Mancheng with a red-eyed, furious glare, then turned back to look at Jinyin.
"Zhangzhou..." Mancheng understood everything now. On the battlefield, he had been invincible, fearless—but now, facing Zhangzhou's back, he trembled with fear.
"Zhangzhou, it wasn't me..." Mancheng desperately tried to explain something, but heard Zhangzhou lower his voice, suppressing his fury—
"Mancheng, I'm scared of you like this."
Zhangzhou never turned around to look at him.
Despair came endlessly, sweeping over him like a tidal wave. Mancheng felt his head about to split open from pain. But what pain could possibly hurt more than the pain in his heart?
What suffering could possibly be worse than the suffering in his heart?
Zhangzhou, I believe every word you say. Even knowing you lie to me, I cannot help but believe you.
But you don't believe me! What use is there in saying more?
For you, I have become a monster whom even you fear.
Lanxing carried a bowl of medicine into Mancheng's room. Setting it on the table, her eyes filled with tears, she said not a word.
Mancheng sat in his chair, then suddenly smiled gently at her. "Lanxing, do you remember what I was like when I was a child?"
Lanxing nodded.
"What was I like? Help me remember. I've forgotten."
"General, you... you were just like young Prince Man Du—very adorable, very mischievous. The first day I met you, you grabbed my hand and said, 'Lanxing Sister, why do your hands keep shaking?' I didn't dare say I was scared, so I said, 'Because it's cold.'"
Mancheng laughed softly. "So you lied to me. I actually believed you. I stuffed your hand into my clothes and pressed it against my belly to warm you up."
Lanxing smiled through her tears. "General, you couldn't even wash your face or change your clothes back then. Your eating habits were so rough—after meals, your face and hands were covered in oil. Before I could wipe you clean, you'd squirm away to play. I followed behind you, serving you carefully, and it exhausted me! At night you wouldn't let me rest either..."
Lanxing stopped speaking. Mancheng picked up the thread. "When he wasn't around, I'd say, 'Lanxing Sister, come keep me company. I'm scared all alone!' You'd crawl into my bed and hold me, and only then could I sleep. Later, when you found out about me and Zhangzhou, you even teased me: 'So it's all because he spoils you and treats you like a girl.'" At these words, Mancheng's eyes reddened. The tenderness and care Zhangzhou had shown him in childhood, every little moment—how warm and heartfelt it had been...
But now, the person is still the same person, yet his heart is no longer with me.
I envy the very ground beneath my feet, for it is this land that, bit by bit, has taken that heart from me and given it away, until now there is nothing left for me.
Mancheng pulled Lanxing close and embraced her, a faint smile on his lips. "I remember now, Lanxing. My first woman was you, and then came Yingyou."
Lanxing wept. "General... how could this servant possibly compare to Princess! This servant has never dared to hope for anything. I only wish that General would be happy... All these years, you've cried yourself dry for the king, but how has he treated you... Now you've both come to this pass—what is there left to hold onto?"
Mancheng lowered his head, pretending not to hear her persuasion, and changed the subject. "When I took you by force back then, did you hate me? I couldn't give you anything, and you stayed by my side as a servant all along. Why did I even take you by force? Later, I regretted it. I sent people to look for your husband and child, but there was never a trace of them. Now with the chaos of war, they must be dead. Lanxing, do you miss them? Lanxing, you must hate me so much..."
"General!" Lanxing could hold it in no longer. All the secrets she had buried in her heart for years came pouring out. "When you followed the king to suppress the Zhang Shun rebellion, Lanxing... was already carrying your child. I'm sorry, General—that child was yours! General, you suddenly changed into a completely different person back then. I... I was afraid of you. You'd be angry... so I didn't dare say anything... I'm sorry, General, I'm so sorry..."
Mancheng stared at her blankly for a long time, then said with a bitter smile, "What are you apologizing for? I'm the one who wronged you..." Mancheng's gaze fell on the bowl of medicine. He sighed and said, "So I was already a father, yet I still acted like a child, doing whatever I pleased!" He lifted the medicine bowl. Lanxing tried to stop him, but he drank it all down in one gulp.
"General!" Lanxing fell to her knees on the ground, pleading. "When General Cheng returns, go with him and leave! Don't persist in this delusion any longer... The king is not what he used to be! The one who loves and cherishes you now is not the king—it's General Cheng! Wake up, please! Those days will never come back! You..."
Mancheng raised his hand to stop her. His voice hoarse, he said, "Lanxing, I don't have many years left to live. If he wants to destroy me further, let him do as he pleases." The words fell from his lips, but tears flowed ceaselessly down his face...
This mad, blind devotion of my life—for him?
For him?