Chapter 35: Hesitation
How many days had passed? He couldn't remember. The whole city remained cocooned in their blankets, both body and mind exhausted.
Zhongshan lifted the curtain and entered, sitting by his bedside, calling softly, "Mancheng..."
"..."
"Get up and take your medicine."
"..."
Zhongshan lifted off his blanket, gently helping him sit up, cradling him in his arms. "Take one more day of the withdrawal medicine. Starting tomorrow, the doctor will prescribe tonic medicine for you."
Mancheng frowned as he drank it down, glancing at Zhongshan's gloomy expression. "I'm already fine. You don't need to worry so much."
Zhongshan just hummed in acknowledgment, setting the bowl aside. When he turned back, he saw Mancheng gazing at him blankly.
The two stared at each other in silence. After a long while, Zhongshan looked away.
In Mancheng's wave-like eyes, the reflection was of himself, Cheng Zhongshan, but what he saw in his heart was that person.
How many times in these more than ten days had Mancheng cried in his arms? How many times had he called that person's name? How many times had he desperately begged that person? Zhongshan couldn't remember, and couldn't bear to let himself remember.
Mancheng lay back down, pulling Zhongshan's hand. "Stay with me."
Zhongshan nodded, lying down beside him fully clothed. He saw Mancheng's mouth open slightly.
Zhongshan's heart ached: He was about to call that person's name again!
"Zhongshan..."
Zhongshan's eyes grew hot. He responded, holding him tightly in his arms.
"Zhongshan, when I first arrived in Dudong, a girl told me that in the west there was a paradise, a realm of ultimate bliss without passion, hatred, sorrow, or desire, where everyone lived happily. In the years that followed, I would often sit dazed at the top of Tanzhou Tower. I would often think: if I just jumped down, I could reach that paradise. What a wonderful place... Why didn't I seize that chance back then? Unfortunately, now even if I want to go, I can't... What awaits me now is the underworld."
"..."
"Zhongshan, can I bring a knife to that world?"
"...Yes."
"Then I can rest easy..."
Zhongshan couldn't hold back his tears, letting them fall silently. Fortunately, the person in his arms had his eyes tightly closed, noticing nothing.
"Zhongshan, how many years do I have to wait before I can be reborn?"
"The blink of an eye."
"You're lying..." Mancheng fell into a deep sleep. After a while, the corners of his mouth lifted slightly, revealing a pure, gentle smile.
The flashback began with the top of Dongzhou Tower offering a view of the entire bustling capital. The gate entering and leaving Dongzhou could be seen most clearly only from this spot. Endless streams of pedestrians and horse litters came and went—could any of them have looked up toward this tower's peak?
With a string of clear bells, footsteps drew nearer, followed by a soft voice: "Mancheng!" It had lost some of its former sweetness, gaining much sorrow instead.
Mancheng didn't turn around. A faint, lingering fragrance drifted over, taking his hand.
Yingyou努力地笑了笑，问他：“你昨天去哪了？”
满城全身一颤。
“满城，你又……”那声音带着哭腔。
满城心口针扎一般，却冷冷地说：“我习惯了。”
樱右握紧了他的手，靠在他肩上，哽咽道：“满城，不要再这样了……你娶我吧。”
“你父王不会答应的！”
樱右注视着他，一字一句的说：“不需要任何人答应，我们远走高飞吧，我们……离这王宫远远的！”
满城一愣，随之苦笑，“你这傻瓜，你吃过苦吗？离开这个王宫，没有舒适的床，没有好看的衣服，也没有可口的食物，更没有人伺候你。你会后悔得天天叫苦的。”满城说完，又转头看着那个城门的方向。
“满城！”樱右扳过他的脸，哭道：“你还盼着他干嘛啊？他让你受的苦还不够多吗？”
平静如水的一声：“我心甘情愿的。”
她柔弱的肩颤抖着，轻微苦涩的嗓音，却震撼着满城的心。“你这样爱他值不值得啊？我比他爱你！满城，我什么苦都能吃？有什么苦会苦过心里的苦啊？满城，我们一起走吧，只要和你在一起，我做乞丐都愿意！我为奴为婢，伺候你一辈子，好不好？好不好啊？”
满城猛地抱着她，颤声唤她的名字：“樱右！”
“我在这儿。”
“樱右！”
“我……在这儿。”
秋末的风，抚过发丝，脖颈后面凉凉的，像夏天的时候，她指间的冰块轻轻滑过……
城门那处一阵骚动，远远飘来了欢呼声——少将军回来了！”
“少将军回来了……”
满城脑海里的樱右生生地驱逐出去，他凝视着城门那处，眼里透露出来的是什么样的心情啊？欣喜？甜蜜？还是幸福？
那单骑快马飞奔到城门口，停了下来。马上的人，抬头朝这个高高的塔顶，深情地张望。
几乎每天都在塔上等待的人，忘却了彷徨，忘却了悲伤，忘却了全世界！他的嘴角微微上扬，露出了无暇的笑容。
“将军，你醒了？”
满城勉力撑着自己坐起来，寺虎急忙扶住他。
“忠善呢？”
“常将军传来消息，永兆军退出井水县到雁壑与援兵会合，武涛军对抗不了，催成将军过去援助。”
“嗤！”满城一笑，“进禄真是没用！”转而问：“你什么时候去？”
寺虎一本正经地说：“成将军叫我留下来哪都别去，等退了永兆，他再折回来接你。”
“什么？”满城吃惊不小，问道：“那你的人马也留在裘亭？”
“唔……”
满城大笑不止，“有必要留那么多人来看护我吗？那小子脑袋进水了！”猛地，想起了什么似的，问他：“寺虎，我这两天清醒了点，看到忠善的脸色不太好，好象很疲倦的样子。”
寺虎淡淡地说：“唔……这段时间都是成将军照顾你，他也一直都不让别人靠近你的营帐……”话没说完，就见满城的眼睛里，盈上了晶莹的泪花。
前因
讨伐章顺的军队停留在汪县，势力日益膨胀，而雄州军兵将却常常无端与盟军斗殴对骂，个个满腹怨气难了：阴险狡诈的三王爷真是什么下三滥的卑鄙伎俩都使出来了！居然派出个顽劣小鬼色诱我们的太子殿下！太子殿下也真是聪明一世糊涂一时，居然对那小鬼言听计从，这下整个雄州军都被度东军牵着鼻子走，真是让人恼火憋气。
雄州军首领的营帐里，时断时续地传出两个人的笑声，将士们若要求见，只能得到太子殿下的一句话：“我忙得很哪，滚。”
满城蜷在杨道醇怀里，津津有味地嘬着从雄州快马加鞭送来的酱腌小海螺，时不时腾出一只手来在地图上指指戳戳，口齿不清地问：“这一片是什么这么多点点？”
“这一片就是海啦，上面的点点都是海岛。”
满城讶道：“怎么这么多？”
道醇笑道：“你还只看到一部分，只有比较大的海岛才画到这地图上，不知道还有多少小岛呢。”
满城什么都没有听进去，他嘴里正嘬着的这个小海螺怎么也嘬不出肉来，急得他将所有心思都放在这海螺上，又抠又吸。
道醇一手搂着他，一手支着脑袋，笑嘻嘻地欣赏着他的狼狈相。
满城终于没了耐性，将手里的海螺丢出老远，又拿了个狂嘬一通，这下吃到肉了，他满意地发出“啧啧”声，嚼个不停，指着一处又问：“啊，那这一片就是海湾？你答应带我去玩的地方？”
“是啊，这一带有无数个小渔村，有的地方偏远冷僻，那里的人愚昧得都不知道自己是哪一国的人呢。”
“嘿嘿……怎么这么傻？”
“那些破地方没人稀罕去抢占，千百年来都是随之自生自灭，渔民们自给自足，又不出来见世面，会知道些什么？”
满城点点头，却鼓起了腮帮，“啊呀，嘬得我嘴巴都酸啦！”
道醇用袖口替他擦嘴边的酱汁，哄道：“那休息休息再吃。”
“不嘛！”满城张开两个黑花花的爪子，搂着道醇的脖子，“你帮我嘬啦！”
“好，好，”道醇迁就他，拿起一个海螺嘬出肉来送到满城嘴里，趁机狠狠亲了一通。
“我都没有嚼就吞进去啦，都怪你！”满城说着这话，转过身子骑在道醇腿上，撒娇道：“再嘬，快点啊。”
道醇欢喜得无不应承，乐不可支地往他嘴里连连送去美食，自己也是大饱口福。
两人正口来口往时，帐外传来恭敬而不失威风的一句：“太子殿下，臣萧占求见。”
满城撅起了嘴，立刻从道醇身上爬下来。
道醇将他一把拉回来搂着，低笑道：“怕他什么？”转而冲帐外不耐烦地吼了句：“我忙着哪！没空！”
萧占仗着年高德勋，提高了声调：“太子殿下，臣有要事，不会耽误您很久，臣进来了！”
“你……”杨道醇喝止来不及，萧占已掀帘进来。
正气凛然的萧将军见到眼前这不堪的一幕差点没气绝身亡：以往正经威严的太子殿下此时脸上身上都是黑色酱汁，见他进来了居然还不放开手里的那只贼溜溜的小花猫。这也就罢了，那张几百名画工精心绘制的雄州地图上也是东黑一块西黑一块，尽是那小花猫的爪印。
“萧将军，你有什么事啊？”道醇沉着脸问。
萧占横了一眼满城，哪料这小鬼居然无辜地望着他，一副专心聆听的模样。
“夏将军，请您回避一下。”萧占无奈，只好开口请求，心想：你是什么东西？我叫你一声将军真是抬举你了。
满城脸上闪过一丝窘迫，挪了挪身子。
道醇却将他搂得更紧了，十分不满地对萧占说：“有什么好回避的？你有什么话快说。”
萧占一窒，当真是欲哭无泪，只好道：“太子殿下，请您好歹去向三王爷表个态，如果他依然回避梨岐问题，我们还是尽早撤军为宜。”
道醇还没有回话，满城先开口了：“梨岐现在又不在章周手上，他拿什么给你们？等他抢来了你们再要不迟，是不是啊道醇？”
“就是就是。”道醇点头不迭。
萧占真想一头撞死算了，他扑通一声跪了下来还要再劝。
道醇无动于衷，挥了挥手，嚷道：“行了行了，你先给我退下去，我自有打算。”
萧占长叹一声，愤愤然立起甩帐出去。
满城一脸委屈，指着帐外说：“道醇，他生气了。”
“别理他。”道醇扭头一看见满城，立刻眉开眼笑，“我们继续，不过你别再咬到我舌头了。”
满城却没了兴致，颓然道：“我们这样，他们会怎么说呢？”
道醇用指尖搓了搓满城嘴边干了的酱汁，问：“我让你难堪了？”
“咦？”满城一愣，笑道：“我从来都是为所欲为，才不会介意别人怎么看我。”
道醇坦然一笑，“你都不介意，我还介意什么？”
满城小声嘀咕道：“可是你是太子，你……”
“我不当也可以。”道醇截断他的话头，一脸的认真诚恳，语气坚决果断：“满城，你还不明白我有多爱你吗？我认识你以后，什么人生的目标理想和未来的宏图大业都没有了，我满脑子都是你，我最大的愿望就是你能陪着我。”
满城感动万分，凑上去狂吻他的双唇，一边用下身贴近他的腿根磨蹭挑逗。
道醇顿时全身火烧火燎般冲动难耐，迫切地抱着满城倒了下来。
满城突然想起了什么，朝帐外努了努嘴，皱眉道：“他还会不会进来啊？”
“谁再敢进来我就砍谁的头。”道醇嬉笑着说完这句，已迅速剥下了满城的衣裤，交缠上去肆意爱抚搓揉……