Chapter 44: The Cause – Torn Between Two Choices
Zhang Zhou turned the corner and abruptly stopped in his tracks.
Jinyin stood outside the door in a daze. When she turned and saw him approaching, she bit her lower lip and gave him a sharp look with her beautiful eyes. "The prince consort has returned?"
Zhang Zhou forced a bitter smile, glanced at the tightly closed door, and asked, "How is he?"
Jinyin stomped her foot. "Aren't you just asking questions you already know the answers to?"
Zhang Zhou pushed past Jinyin and opened the door to enter. Mancheng had wrapped himself in a quilt and curled up on the bed. Hearing the movement, he stirred but made no sound.
"Mancheng..." Zhang Zhou sat on the edge of the bed, speaking softly. "How long are you going to keep this up? Get up and eat something. Don't ruin your health."
Muffled sobs came from beneath the quilt.
Zhang Zhou sat quietly for a while, then said, "If you're not going to respond to me, then I'm leaving."
Mancheng suddenly burst out from under the quilt, grabbing Zhang Zhou, gazing at him with tear-filled eyes full of pitiful desperation.
Zhang Zhou settled back down, lifted the porridge from the side table, scooped a spoonful, and was about to feed it to Mancheng when Mancheng swatted the bowl away, his eyes filled with resentment.
Zhang Zhou froze. He dropped the spoon onto the table and stood up, about to leave.
"Don't go!" Mancheng clung to him, crying. "Zhang Zhou, do you still love me? You're getting married—what happens to me? Don't marry her! You promised to love only me! You promised!"
"Mancheng!" Zhang Zhou turned back, wiping his tears. "I didn't say we'd break up. We can still be together. I still only love you."
Mancheng wailed, "I don't care! I won't let you marry! I won't let you marry!"
Zhang Zhou frowned. "Why must you force me like this? Weren't you also with Lanxing..." He cut himself off abruptly.
Mancheng cried even harder, completely unreasonable. "So what? I never asked her to marry me! You're never here with me—I was just lonely! The moment you come back, I give you all my time! You never had time for me anyway, and once you're married and have children, you'll want nothing to do with me even more! And besides, besides... why does it have to be Yingyou? Why her?"
Zhang Zhou had been softening at Mancheng's tears and pleas, but upon hearing these last words, jealousy flared within him. He said darkly, "What's wrong with me marrying her? What's wrong with me letting her bear my children? I have to continue the Zhang family line. Do you want me to die childless?"
Mancheng trembled. After a moment of stunned silence, he begged as if in a death struggle, "Zhang Zhou, I won't live much longer. Just give me another ten-something years, and I'll die before you. After I'm dead, you can marry as many women as you want. You can have countless children. You can spend all your time with them. But I only have a few dozen years left. I—"
Seeing Mancheng bring up this fabricated reason to coerce him again, Zhang Zhou felt a surge of nameless anger. He cut Mancheng off before he could finish. "Here you go again? Mancheng, can you stop being so sensitive and woman-like?"
Mancheng fell silent, gazing at him in despair. Zhang Zhou hardened his heart and said, "Mancheng! We shouldn't forget our boundaries in this game of ours! Even if you don't agree, I will marry Yingyou!"
Mancheng sat on the bed, appearing as if his very essence had been drained, staring blankly.
Zhang Zhou convinced himself that after the wedding he could continue to cherish Mancheng as before, and believed wholeheartedly that Mancheng would eventually understand. With that thought, he said nothing more, turned, and walked out the door.
The moment he stepped over the threshold, Jinyin slapped him across the face—a crisp, clear sound.
Zhang Zhou was stunned, frozen in place. After a moment, regret and remorse flooded him. When he turned back, he saw Mancheng had collapsed back onto the bed, curling into the quilt.
Zhang Zhou let out a heavy sigh, grief welling up inside him. He slumped despondently on the doorstep.
Mancheng lay with eyes wide open, tears flowing silently. He felt as if the pillar that had supported him for years in life had collapsed.
Zhang Zhou, I treasure you as much as my own life, and yet you say this was just a game to you! So you're just like all the rest—merely treating me as a plaything for their amusement.
"When I become king, I'll be with you every day."
When you become king, you'll have wives and concubines galore, children crowding around. What will I be? I can't bear you children, and I lack the gentle virtues of women. I'm afraid before you even become king, you'll have long grown tired of me...
For your sake, I've done every shameful thing. I thought I still had you. But you were just playing me all along...
What... what am I living for...
Peng Hong sighed and snatched away Zhang Zhou's wine cup. "Stop drinking."
Zhang Zhou swept his arm across the table, sending dishes clattering to the floor. He slumped over the table, sighing endlessly. After a long while, as if speaking to Peng Hong, or perhaps to himself: "If only he were a woman... After all these years, I've regretted this every single day. Before we got together, I wanted to avoid him too. But the moment he couldn't see me, he'd cry and make a scene. And the moment I couldn't see him, all I could think about was him. Where could I possibly escape to... Heaven was destined to bring me to his side, destined to make us love each other desperately, destined to have us hide away together for a lifetime... If I had listened to him, fled with him to some nameless island to live out our days together, would he have stopped crying?"
Zhang Zhou spoke, clenching his fists, his body trembling involuntarily. "But I still have so much I want to do. I want revenge. I want to rebuild the Zhang dynasty. I want to possess that kingdom..."
Peng Hong was silent.
A servant girl floated in. "Master Prince Consort, the princess says she's going to sleep first."
Peng Hong nodded, waving her off.
The servant girl withdrew. Zhang Zhou lifted his head, leaning against the backrest. "How is Xiuyi's condition?"
"Not great," Peng Hong's face showed both heartache and joy. "That fool of hers says as long as the child is healthy, she's fine. But her body is so weak she still can't get out of bed."
Zhang Zhou asked again, "When will you tell her about you and Jinyin?"
Peng Hong said nonchalantly, "We'll see after a while. We have to wait until she's a bit healthier."
Zhang Zhou, his tired, bloodshot eyes glancing at Peng Hong, asked, "Have you ever promised Xiuyi that you'll love only her for the rest of your life?"
Peng Hong's face turned ashen. He nodded.
"Jinyin isn't an ordinary woman. Having the most beautiful woman in the world as your concubine—can you消受得起? Can Xiuyi possibly be at peace?" Zhang Zhou gazed at Peng Hong's increasingly dark expression, speaking slowly. "Break it off with Jinyin. Don't ruin her life."
Peng Hong immediately retorted, "You call off your engagement. Don't ruin Yingyou."
The two exchanged a bitter laugh.
Zhang Zhou said, "Did you see how Mancheng looked? Xiuyi doesn't have a good temper either. She'll probably cause an even bigger scene than Mancheng. If she pulls something like threatening to end her life—"
Before Zhang Zhou could finish, a servant girl from Peng Hong's residence came in leading a young palace maid.
Zhang Zhou and Peng Hong exchanged a glance. Just as they were wondering what was happening, the young maid knelt and handed over a letter. "Young Commander, this is from Princess Yingyou."
Zhang Zhou opened it, glanced at the contents, and immediately changed color. He crumpled the letter in his fist and rushed out at full speed.
Peng Hong, startled, chased after him.
In the swirling snow, Mancheng huddled against the tower wall. Hearing the commotion, he looked up sharply.
For a moment, the two gazed at each other. Mancheng shrank into the corner, panicked and bewildered. "You... don't look at me like that... I... I... I didn't kill her. It wasn't me. It wasn't me..."
"Mancheng!" Zhang Zhou lunged forward, pulling him into a tight embrace, whispering, "Mancheng! I don't blame you. I don't care. Whatever you do, I don't care. As long as you're safe..." Before he could finish, he felt the person in his arms trembling violently. Zhang Zhou's heart ached unbearably. He cupped Mancheng's face and, saying "I love you!" pressed his lips to spread passionate kisses across Mancheng's face wet with salty, warm tears.
Mancheng clung to him. His battered, wounded soul felt infinitely warm. All the tears he had sealed away and suppressed burst forth unstoppably, washing away the fear and unease that had been fleeting in the snowstorm.
Beyond the words "I love you," what else could instantly soothe a heart filled with terror and despair?
It was precisely these words that bound Mancheng, year after year, in an endless vigil of waiting.
Peng Hong stood in the snow, silently gazing at Yingyou lying on the white expanse. Her sweet, lovely fair face was peaceful as a lily. Beneath the warm, heartwarming pale yellow, a scarlet river of blood spread outward—strangely serene amid the stark white.
Zhang Zhou's words came as if from the ends of the heavens— "Did you see how Mancheng looked? Xiuyi doesn't have a good temper either. She'll probably cause an even bigger scene than Mancheng. If she pulls something like threatening to end her life—"
Xiuyi, eyes red, exited Mancheng's room and took Jinyin's hand, trying to comfort her. "You don't need to worry too much. Mancheng will probably be over the fever in a couple days."
Jinyin choked back a sob, nodding.
Peng Hong supported Xiuyi and walked out of the courtyard. At the archway, he turned and gazed deeply at Jinyin.
Jinyin silently lowered her eyes.
Zhang Zhou gently stroked Mancheng's forehead, speaking softly. "Take your medicine and sleep乖乖. Your aunt said you don't need to send Yingyou off tomorrow."
Mancheng grasped Zhang Zhou's hand and placed it over his own eyes. "Zhang Zhou... I won't live long. When I'm dead, you can marry many women. You can have many children. You won't be childless..."
"Don't talk nonsense anymore," Zhang Zhou cut him off. He leaned down, pressing his cheek against Mancheng's chest, and sighed slowly. "You won't die... If you truly die before me, I'll come with you... Let me be childless. For you, I'd gladly accept that fate..."