# Chapter 48: Ultimately
The candle had burned out, the fire extinguished, leaving the room in complete darkness.
Mancheng still sat by the table. After his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he felt only dizziness and chest tightness. He wanted to call Lanxing to light a lamp, opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
He tried again to call for someone, feeling a choking, fishy taste rise in his throat. Just as he reached to cover his mouth, he vomited blood.
By the moonlight streaming through the window, Mancheng stared at the blood on his hand and on the floor.
Fear swept through his entire body!
I've been taking his medicine for so many days, and Zhangzhou hasn't changed his mind at all! He truly wants to turn me into a cripple! If that happens, even if I manage to live a few more years, I'd be like Mandu—forced to take medicine every single day for the rest of my life. What's the point of living?
Zhangzhou, do you hate me this much?
Zhangzhou, I...
I don't want to become a cripple!
Zhangzhou! Do you still love me or not? If I become a cripple, will you ignore me completely? Will you stop coming to see me altogether? Then what's the point of my living?
How much have I given up for you, and what have you given me in return? All I wanted was to stay by your side—so why are you treating me this way? Why are you making me suffer so?
You found me so repulsive, so why did you once treat me with such tenderness? Why did you let me fall so deeply in love with you?
Were you deceiving me from the very beginning? Were you playing with me from start to finish?
You... how could you treat me this way...
After treating me like this, what reason do I have to linger? What reason do I have to linger?
Why did I fall in love with someone like you...
Why am I still staying here? Am I waiting here to become a cripple?
Mancheng trembled violently with fear,冲动地站起来，腿脚却软得一步都迈不开。他撑着桌子，一阵天旋地转，又吐出一口血来。
Mancheng slumped, his strength completely drained, and collapsed to the floor.
Zhongshan! Where have you been? I agree! I agree to go with you! Why didn't I agree just now? I regret it!
Zhongshan! I regret it! Come take me away quickly! I want to leave this place! I've decided to leave him!
When will you come? I'm so scared! I can't wait another minute!
Mancheng braced himself against the chair, tears falling into the blood, scattering small points of white light.
The door suddenly opened. Mancheng's heart surged with joy.
Zhongshan?
The figure was backlit by the moonlight, his face invisible, but Mancheng knew that silhouette only too well—it wasn't Zhongshan.
Zhangzhou! He's finally here!
Zhangzhou took in Mancheng's body covered in messy, filthy, thick blood, and his heart seized with remorse and anguish.
"Mancheng!" Zhangzhou lunged forward, falling to his knees before him, pulling him into a fierce embrace, tormented beyond words.
"Mancheng! Mancheng... Mancheng..." He couldn't think of anything to say except calling his name.
Mancheng moved his throat, but no words would come.
"Mancheng! Stop doing things that freeze my heart! I'm begging you!" Zhangzhou said urgently, wiping the blood and tears from Mancheng's face with his fingers. "I'm sorry, Mancheng! I didn't know what to do! I didn't know how to win you back! I could only use this method! I want you to see only me for the rest of your life! I want you to never be able to接触 anyone else! I'm scared... I'm terrified of losing you. I don't know how to keep your heart. This was the only method I could think of. I had no other choice..."
Mancheng gazed at him, shaking his head repeatedly, tears streaming down his face.
Zhangzhou understood only too well: Mancheng, who had been playful and willful since childhood, curious about everything—to force him to become a cripple was worse than killing him.
"I understand now. I won't make you drink that medicine anymore..." Zhangzhou cradled his face and kissed him, tasting his sweet, fishy blood. "I won't secretly do things you don't want anymore. Mancheng, I love you! I'm begging you—don't leave me, don't do things that freeze my heart anymore... I'm suffering so much... I love you so much I'm going insane... The pain is making me fall apart... I love you, I love you! I... I love you!"
Mancheng still couldn't make a sound, could only lift his weak arm to embrace him, listening to him call his name over and over, saying "I love you" over and over. The decision to escape from him just moments ago—all of it dissipated like smoke, gone without a trace.
---
# Before
The door was suddenly pushed open. Mancheng covered his eyes with his hand. Before he could adjust to the blinding sunlight that flooded in, the door closed again. Through the gaps between his fingers, he saw Zhongshan walking toward him.
"Cheng Zhongshan, don't push your luck!" Mancheng said coldly. "Get out right now."
Zhongshan ignored him, walked straight over, and sat down as if it were the most natural thing. "How long do you plan to stay shut up in this room? Stop being stubborn, Mancheng, you—"
"Get out immediately!" Mancheng shouted. "Cheng Zhongshan, do you really think you're someone special to me?"
"If I really meant nothing to you, you would have already drawn your blade." As Zhongshan spoke, he reached out to embrace him.
This reminder struck a nerve. Mancheng flew into a rage, drew his blade with lightning speed and swung it at him. He had expected Zhongshan to dodge—but not only did Zhongshan not evade, he didn't even blink!
The blade veered sharply at the last moment, but Zhongshan's right arm had already been struck, blood pouring out.
Mancheng froze, released the blade, and asked, "Why didn't you dodge?"
Zhongshan gave no answer, as if he didn't even feel the pain in his arm. He simply gazed at Mancheng calmly.
Mancheng tore through the room until he found the wound medicine and bandages. He dumped the powder onto Zhongshan's wound with no care. But the cut was so deep that the medicine was washed away immediately by the blood. Mancheng uselessly pressed his hand against the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.
Zhongshan looked down, watching Mancheng's tears fall one after another onto his arm, and softly called out, "Mancheng..."
Mancheng responded, hastily wrapping the bandage around and around the wound. Even after several layers, blood still seeped through.
"Mancheng, it's too tight."
Mancheng loosened it, wrapped again.
"Mancheng, now it's too loose," Zhongshan said. He reached out with his left hand, clasping Mancheng's hand that held the bandage, and smiled gently. "Let me do it..."
Mancheng released the bandage, but threw himself into Zhongshan's arms instead, crying out, "I'm sorry, Zhongshan!"
Only in front of someone who accommodates you, indulges you, can one be so vulnerable, so unguarded.
Zhongshan, ignoring the wound on his arm, held him tightly. After a long moment, he asked, "Mancheng, you didn't do it—why didn't you explain?"
"I did explain, but he didn't believe me! He always wanted a child, and now he must hate me completely! Zhongshan, it's over between us. What do I do?" Mancheng was at a loss, crying his heart out.
Zhongshan lovingly stroked his face, but got blood on it, mixed with Mancheng's tears—a heartbreaking sight. "Mancheng, you talk too little. When you're scared, you can't speak a word. Did he forget even that? Things have come to this—even if you can't bear to let go, you two can't go back to the way things were." Zhongshan drew closer to his face, pleading. "Mancheng, let's leave Yuanliao together, okay? I'm begging you—just give me a chance!"
Tears desperately fled from Mancheng's sorrowful eyes.
Zhongshan's gaze was nothing but supplication.
The two stared at each other in silence for a moment. Mancheng whispered, "I agree."
The moment those words left his mouth, Zhongshan received them like the most precious treasure. He pressed his lips to Mancheng's, kissing him again and again. His long, patient waiting had finally reached its end. The thought that this person in his arms would belong to him day and night from now on—Zhongshan couldn't tell if it was happiness or gratitude that surged through him, and he blurted out, "Mancheng, I..."
Before the words "love you" could even be finished, a chaotic cacophony of screams and wails erupted outside the door: "Mandu! Mandu..."
"Prince! Prince! Oh heavens, what happened? Someone, come quickly! Fetch Physician You at once..."
Mancheng jumped in shock, pushed Zhongshan away, and rushed outside...
---
# Before
Zhangzhou arrived at the gate of Frost Picture Manor and pushed open the slightly ajar door.
Mancheng, drenched in blood, stood among the corpses littering the ground. Hearing movement, he猛地 turned back, his eyes blazing with murderous ferocity. When he saw who the newcomer was, he closed his eyes. "Punish me however you like." These were the first words he'd spoken to Zhangzhou since Xiangguang's death.
Zhangzhou felt as if walking on cotton, slowly walking toward him. Those few steps felt endless. "Mancheng... please stop. I... I'm begging you."
"It doesn't matter now that things have come to this." Mancheng pressed down the pain in his heart, saying coldly, "If you're scared, I can't help it."
Zhangzhou grabbed him in an embrace, but Mancheng pushed him away.
Crystal tears broke through the thick blood on Mancheng's face. His slender brows were tightly knit. "Zhangzhou, don't get dirty because of me."
Zhangzhou ignored his pushing away, holding him fiercely.
Mancheng dropped the blade from his hand. His hands trembling, he carefully embraced Zhangzhou, crying, "Zhangzhou, are you scared of me now? I'm not the same person anymore. I'm a devil who tramples on lives—you saw it with your own eyes. Even I am afraid..."
"Mancheng, I don't care what you've done. Please believe me—I only love you. Forever, only you! I have so many reasons... Mancheng! Mancheng... After I borrow troops from Yu Kingdom, we'll definitely be able to capture Jianqing City quickly. After I kill Zhang Shun, I'll never let you hold a blade again. I don't want children anymore, and I'll never marry. Having you is enough for me. Mancheng, from now on I'll listen to you about everything. Okay? Please stop doing things that freeze my heart, okay? Okay? I'm begging you!"
Mancheng's tearful eyes sparkled with hope. He couldn't speak for crying, could only nod ceaselessly.
I won't do things that freeze your heart. I'll believe you unconditionally. I'll come when you call and go when you wave me away.
Zhangzhou, among all the people in this world who are infatuated with me, why do I alone cling to you so desperately? Why don't you treasure me properly?
What more do you want from me before you're satisfied?
---
Zhongshan carried a pair of massive hammers, murderous intent radiating from him as he strode into Zhongbi Manor. The guard soldiers trembled with fear, not daring to speak, all dropping to their knees on the ground, watching him walk past without a glance.
Mancheng—he's certain you'll never leave him, so he has no sense of crisis at all. He doesn't bother to read your thoughts, doesn't need to observe your expressions. But I'm different. Every single moment, I'm terrified that the next second I'll lose you.
Every day I walk on eggshells, as if on thin ice! Night after night I watch your sleeping face but cannot fall asleep myself, terrified that one reckless day you'll wake up with a changed heart and want to cut all ties with me.
Why did I have to fall in love with you! If you were a woman, I would have taken you away long ago. But you're not! Before, I didn't have the power to take you away! But now I have the chance!
Mancheng, please don't blame me.
I can give you a stable life. I only ask that you grant me a stable heart.
Before Zhongshan could even step into Mancheng's courtyard, Lanxing threw herself to the ground before him, pleading, "General Cheng! His Highness is inside!"
Zhongshan froze mid-step. His heart ached and twisted. In an instant, his eyes turned red, tears falling like rain.
Lanxing, sobbing, tried to coax him. "General Cheng, you..."
But the words caught in her throat, impossible to finish.
Zhongshan's gaze swept across Mancheng's window. Inside, it was pitch black.
Jealousy, resentment, and sorrow came flooding in. His hands gripping the hammer shafts trembled so violently they nearly slipped. All his hopes, just now lifted up, crashed down into the abyss of despair. Boundless depth of feeling could only be suppressed beneath his icy expression.
He turned his head and slipped away quietly.
The compassionate moonlight followed behind him, wanting to hold him back, but ultimately could not grasp his grieving, desolate figure.
Back then at the gate of Frost Picture Manor, when those two had put aside their differences and reconciled, neither noticed Zhongshan standing outside the door, utterly disappointed.
Yesterday's hope, today's hope—all turned to bubbles in the end. Now, though there was a thousand refusals and ten thousand unwillingness, what else could he do but retreat in silence?
Mancheng, I am not omnipotent. If one day I die on the battlefield, I will never be able to hope for you again.
Mancheng, it turns out that hope is a thousand times more bitter than waiting, a thousand times more painful than longing!
---
Zhangzhou remembered ten years ago, when they had first experienced the storms of life together and both had been clumsy and awkward. Mancheng's delicate, handsome face had flushed with adorable shyness, his lips and eyes carrying a bashful charm that had bewildered Zhangzhou's reason, making him want nothing more than to seclude themselves from the world and live out their days together.
But in those years, youth was free of sorrow, and they only yearned for tenderness. Now, countless worries and suspicions had sprung up between them, leaving them torn between impossible choices.
Zhangzhou suddenly realized that Mancheng's features no longer held that soft, youthful beauty from ten years ago. Instead, they had become distinctly handsome and striking. His collarbones and shoulders had grown more set and firm. Through all these years, everything had changed—but his eyes were exactly the same as when Zhangzhou first carried him to bed and caressed him with kisses. Unchanging, full of countless layers of compliance.
Zhangzhou didn't know that if he had arrived one moment later, he would have lost forever this person who now lay tenderly entangled with him.
Mancheng's hand gently rested on Zhangzhou's bare, scorching chest. His gaze lingered briefly on the Buddhist beads around his left wrist, then closed his eyes, letting Zhangzhou do as he wished...