Chapter 61: Return
Background
Anqing's royal palace was shrouded in a layer of gloomy atmosphere.
Mancheng's small frame curled upon the oversized dragon throne, looking so pitiful, so helpless.
Zhang Zhou took a deep breath, strode across the empty and deserted great hall, climbed the steps, and knelt beside the dragon throne.
"What are you doing?" Mancheng asked coldly.
"Mancheng, let me go back."
Mancheng roared, "Zhang Shun has already killed all your brothers and sisters. If you go back, aren't you going to your death?"
Zhang Zhou's face showed determination, calmly saying, "If I don't go back, he will attack Anqing. Zhang Shun is brutal and violent—he always follows through on his threats. Now that the Prime Minister is dead too, Anqing has no strength to resist him. Mancheng, if you don't send me back, the dynasty of Anqing will be destroyed because of you."
"Not this again! They come one after another, weeping and begging. Just don't come annoy me anymore." Mancheng said indifferently, "I'm not letting you go. If this dynasty is destroyed, then so be it."
Zhang Zhou gave a bitter smile, "Mancheng, you're still so young—what do you know? Do you know how much blood and tears this dragon throne cost? Mancheng! I'm leaving. In the future, be a wise ruler, marry and have children, and you can live a happy life. I can't be by your side forever. Stop being stubborn!"
Mancheng climbed down from the dragon throne, threw his arms around Zhang Zhou, and cried, "You promised to be with me forever, you promised! I don't want anything else, I only want you. As long as you're by my side, I could be a commoner, even a beggar would be fine! Zhang Zhou, if you're going to your death, take me with you!"
Zhang Zhou pushed him away without mercy, "Mancheng! We should never have been together in the first place. 'Forever and ever'—that was just something I said to please you. I didn't come to discuss this with you; I came to say goodbye. The carriage outside the city gate is already prepared. Whether you agree or not, I am leaving."
As Zhang Zhou finished speaking, he gritted his teeth, stood up, and walked away.
"Zhang Zhou!" Mancheng cried out in despair, "Zhang Zhou, don't go!"
Zhang Zhou walked down the steps. When he turned to look back, Mancheng had a dagger gleaming with cold light in his hand.
Zhang Zhou's heart seized.
Mancheng bit his lower lip hard, staring fixedly at Zhang Zhou. The blade cut deeply across his wrist, and blood immediately gushed out, staining the golden robe in front of him.
It was as if the blade had cut into Zhang Zhou's chest. His heart ached so badly his whole body trembled. He rushed back and pulled Mancheng tightly into his arms. "Fetch the imperial physician..."
Mancheng raised his hand to cover Zhang Zhou's mouth. "Don't call anyone! Don't... call anyone."
Zhang Zhou's eyes suddenly turned red. He tore strips from his clothing and tightly bound Mancheng's wound. Tears could no longer be restrained and fell continuously.
Mancheng's small face had gone pale with pain, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Yet the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. "Zhang Zhou, you're actually crying? I thought you were someone who never shed tears."
Zhang Zhou's voice had gone hoarse. "How much it must hurt, Mancheng. What are you trying to do?"
"I want... to keep you. Don't you understand?" Mancheng lifted his blood-stained hand and gently touched his tears. "Zhang Zhou, if you die, what meaning does my living have? If you dare leave Anqing even one step, I will die before your eyes. Do you understand?"
"I understand! I... understand."
Mancheng contentedly leaned against his chest, murmuring softly, "Zhang Zhou, you won't leave now, will you?"
"I won't leave. I'll be with you my whole life. If Anqing is destroyed, we'll hide away in some remote countryside and live out our lives together. No one will control us, and we won't have to hide anymore..."
What was it that gently shattered his strong and resolute will, causing his tears to pour out without restraint?
Mancheng gently kissed the tears on his face, pouted and said, "Zhang Zhou, why must I get hurt before you come to your senses..."
I dreamed a very long, very long dream. Although it was peaceful, although it was at ease, there was never any light.
That thread of light parted open. What did I want to see?
I wanted to see the person who has been my lifelong concern.
I wanted to see the person I could never bear to leave.
Mancheng slowly opened his eyes. Who did he see?
It was the person he had carved into his heart forever.
It was the person he loved so deeply it was unbearable.
"Zhang Zhou..." Mancheng smiled, as if nothing had happened, as if yesterday he was still in the royal palace of Anqing, his pure eyes cold and bright as the moon.
Zhang Zhou's tears fell one by one onto his cheek. He reached out, his cold fingers touching the warm tear drops beneath Zhang Zhou's eyelashes. "Zhang Zhou, you... you're crying..."
Zhang Zhou held him without saying a word, while his tears flowed unbridled. There was no need for more words. Just looking into each other's eyes, everything could be understood.
Mancheng closed his eyes, feeling his warm tears soak his face...
Zhang Zhou, I thought you would never shed tears for me again...
A tall, straight figure stood atop the ruins of Anqing city's royal palace.
Looking around, the jade buildings and gold tiles, the vermillion walls from years past had all become broken wells and collapsed walls, with weeds growing everywhere, desolate and barren.
Which of these places was the West Front Hall where you once hid and played as a child?
Which was the Yuxing Garden where you fell from a tree and scraped your knee?
Which was the Jinhua Garden where you climbed the wall to eavesdrop on your father's voice?
Which was the Ju'an Garden where you held each other night after night, where you first experienced joy together?
Everywhere here held memories that would entangle you for a lifetime. I searched along these paths for your traces, clearly sensing your presence, yet never touching your form. I so wanted to firmly grasp your hand...
But I am not him.
Why am I not him?
Mancheng, my heart is so weary it has barely any strength left to beat.
Mancheng, I... I'm afraid I can't hold on any longer.
News that the commander general had recovered from his injuries spread throughout the camp of those who had retreated to Anqing. Everyone was filled with uplifting morale and fighting spirit.
Yet Shen Kang saw that这个男人 who could intimidate hundreds of thousands of the威震 army with just a glare, wandering lost and dazed through the ruined palace full of desolation.
That proud and heroic figure who was like a god of war, now was fragile and helpless, tears streaming down his face.
A lonely heart that had endured suffering alone, having given selflessly, yet never receiving any comfort.
How long has it been since we ate a meal together? Mancheng gazed at the person before him, somewhat at a loss. At this moment, how should one cherish it?
"Does your shoulder still hurt?" Zhang Zhou smiled, holding Mancheng's right hand that held the spoon. "Let me feed you, okay?"
Lanxing laughed lightly and withdrew.
Mancheng whispered, "No need." With that, he gripped the spoon tightly, scooped some rice, and bowed his head to eat.
Zhang Zhou picked a piece of fish meat, peeled off the skin, carefully picked out the bones, then placed it in Mancheng's bowl. This familiar action—how many years had it been since he saw it? Five years? Or ten?
Zhang Zhou watched crystalline tears fall into the bowl Mancheng nervously cradled. His heart ached with sourness.
Zhang Zhou moved closer, one arm around him, the other picking up dishes for him. He would pause occasionally, his lips lightly brushing against Mancheng's ear and cheek.
Clatter! The bowl fell to the ground, shattering into pieces.
Both were startled. Zhang Zhou laughed softly, "I'll ask Lanxing to bring another bowl."
"Don't!"
Zhang Zhou smiled and held him tighter, asking, "Mancheng, from now on, I'll accompany you at every meal like this, okay?"
"Okay..." Mancheng replied faintly.
"Mancheng, I'm serious. I'm absolutely serious!" Zhang Zhou picked a grain of rice from his cheek, then tugged at his sleeve to wipe the oil stain from his mouth. His words were utterly sincere: "Mancheng, if I ever secretly go to battle again, may I be struck by lightning, die without a whole body!"
Mancheng gazed into his deep eyes. After a moment, like a clinging little bird, he leaned against his shoulder, choked with emotion, "I believe you."
At the end of winter in Yuanliao, it wasn't so cold. Most of the trees in the south hadn't shed all their leaves. In tonight's夜色, within the withered old foliage, hints of fresh green were quietly revealing themselves.
Suddenly outside the courtyard came a shout: "Don't block me!" It was the hot-tempered Prime Minister Lei!
Mancheng startled. Zhang Zhou immediately withdrew the arm around Mancheng and stood up. Mancheng felt a pang of bitterness, too weary to even glance at him.
Mixed with Lanxing's flustered and helpless attempts at persuasion, Lei Fuyan's footsteps drew near from the distance.
Zhang Zhou sat back down, drew close to Mancheng, and then, once more, pulled him into his embrace.
Mancheng flustered, "Zhang Zhou, you..."
Before he could finish, Lei Fuyan had already appeared outside the archway. Seeing this scene, he wasn't surprised. He snorted, turned his head sideways, and knelt in salute. "Your Majesty, the north..."
Zhang Zhou immediately cut him off: "Wait a moment."
"But..."
Zhang Zhou wouldn't let him respond, barking out an order: "Didn't you hear what I said? Get out immediately!"
Lei Fuyan angrily stood and withdrew.
"Zhang Zhou!" Mancheng's voice trembled slightly. "You've hidden this for so many years. Why bother now?"
Zhang Zhou smiled nonchalantly, "I'm with you day and night now. Only an idiot wouldn't know about our relationship. And I'm going to stay here with you permanently—what's there to hide?"
Mancheng thought he must have misheard. Carefully he asked, "You're going to stay with me permanently?"
"Yes. I want the whole world to know you're mine. Every night from now on, I will sleep by your side." Then Zhang Zhou's tone couldn't hide a hint of triumph. "I will never give Cheng Zhongshan the chance to get near you again."
Mancheng's surging passion was suddenly extinguished by these last words. That name entering his ears stabbed straight into his heart.
Cheng Zhongshan?
Zhongshan!
Mancheng's body went rigid. Zhang Zhou deliberately chose not to notice, saying softly, "Mancheng, I love you... I've only ever loved one person in my life. That one person is you..."
Whether from guilt or moved, that momentary hesitation, that person who had risked his life for him, who had waited苦苦守候—was immediately erased from Mancheng's mind.
The person he had loved his whole life was right by his side. The happiness he had awaited his whole life was right before his eyes. What else could he need? For the rest of his life, as long as there was this much, he would die without regrets.
After a long while, Mancheng smiled faintly and said, "You'd better go see what urgent matters Prime Minister Lei has to report."
"Then I'll be right back."
"Okay."
"Shall I ask Lanxing to come attend to your meal?"
"Okay."
Zhang Zhou walked out of the courtyard, then turned back for another look. He gave him a gentle smile. "Be good, eat more."
"Okay."
Late into the night, Lanxing helped Mancheng finish washing up, and advised, "General, please rest early."
Mancheng nodded and lay down.
Lanxing extinguished the lamp and withdrew. Mancheng lay in the dark with wide-open eyes. Half an hour? An hour? Two hours?
He wasn't coming.
The door slowly opened. Someone walked in lightly.
Mancheng called out joyfully, "Zhang Zhou!"
"I thought you might have fallen asleep." Zhang Zhou looked somewhat guilty. "I'm sorry, I'm late." With that, he walked over and sat by the bed, gently stroking Mancheng's face.
In the darkness, Mancheng's eyes gleamed with a soft light. His voice, though calm, couldn't hide a thread of sweetness. "You... you should sleep too."
Zhang Zhou lay down without changing clothes and drew close to him.
"Zhang Zhou." Mancheng hesitated for a moment, then asked, "How is the situation in Dudong?"
"Your Wei Zhen Army has all arrived in the State of Deng." Zhang Zhou paused, then said, "Cheng Zhongshan is also in the State of Deng."
A trace of embarrassment crossed Mancheng's pale face.
Not hearing Mancheng respond, Zhang Zhou softly coaxed him, "Don't worry about these matters anymore, okay?"
"...Okay." This was what he had longed for years to have! But why was his heart still so uneasy?
"Mancheng, that time you said you kept having the same dream. What was it about?"
Mancheng smiled faintly and said, "I'm sleepy..."
"Then sleep quickly." Zhang Zhou murmured softly, turned over and held him, and closed his eyes.
That dream was no longer just a dream.